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Being married is oh so glorious!

Posted Monday, June 11, 2007 7:30 AM

Ive been married for almost a year and a half, and I have come to the conclusion that my husband is indeed LAZY!!! You would think that being with someone for 7 years, that I would know this right? Wrong! I have to work long hours, come home and cook, clean, sort through laundry, and clean up after our daughter which he could have done while I was at work. Its ok I still love him, and always will. I just want to pull his hair out sometimes :)

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Comments

re: Being married is oh so glorious!

My husband loves to ask me what's for dinner, when I'm going to wash some towels, and if I've dusted the living room in awhile.  He likes to joke and point out that now that I'm a wife, I have to get used to wife duties.  Yeah, he thinks he's really funny.  But he doesn't think it's so funny when I make a stereotypical comment about him needing to make more money to support me and all our bills, because he's supposed to be the "bread winner."

Posted by edmo    Monday, June 11, 2007 10:30 AM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

Yes, I totally understand.  My husband and I work all day, and then I'm stuck cleaning all night while he's watching the game or something.  What makes me the most mad is that he doesn't even try to keep it clean.  He can seem to walk into a room and it explodes into messiness immediately.  How does he do this and how can I stop it?

Posted by duncyo    Friday, June 15, 2007 6:50 AM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

I know this is cheesy, but I've made chore lists out and we switch weeks off. It seems to work out halfway well for us, and we don't fight about who is going to do what. The only thing that's not on there is cooking, which falls to whomever is home first.

Posted by MightyMuppet    Friday, June 15, 2007 7:01 AM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

talk over work it out  if my wife cook  i do the disher ect.. i recommend watch movie THE BREAK UP  learn some from it    some great point     regard

Posted by sonthach    Friday, June 15, 2007 8:13 AM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

Did I write this in my sleep 'cause I feel the same way sometimes.  I work as well, just as many hours, and still come home to doing yard work, house chores, and cooking dinner, while he sits on his a** in the office.  It's VERY frustrating, then when i get mad at him, he turns it on me saying he'd do it on "his time".  Whatever.  I've just learned that if I want it done, I have to do it.  No amount of scheduling, or lists, will change him.  Men don't change.  You  get what you marry.  Sorry if it's not the answer you wanted, but it's true.

Posted by Rubygirl    Friday, June 15, 2007 8:22 AM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

Um yeah ditto.  Yesterday he was cranky and asked why I always nagged him.  Then I just walked away muttering "Well maybe if you actually did something I wouldn't have to!"  He gets home an hour and half earlier than I do everyday except Friday but I always have to do dishes or pick up the clothes on the floor or clean up after the pets, and so on.  So the other day he asked when we wanted to start having kids and I was like uh, I already feel like I have one!  But yeah I agree with Rubygirl...he says he will do it but it gets to be like 5 hours later and it's still not done so I just do it myself.  Then he wonders why I never just sit down and relax and watch TV??

Posted by spuffybride    Friday, June 15, 2007 8:44 AM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

I thought I was the only one with a husband who thought we had a jeanie who cooked, cleaned, did laundry, got up in the middle of the night to comfort a child with nightmares and still be available to satisify his sexual desires.  And someone up there said it best, why is it not funny when we point out the issue of the breadwinner and being the head of the household.  (I've tried the chore list that doesn't work, I also tried I cook you do dishes, doesn't work either)  Anyone else got suggestions, trying not to break my neck for tripping over stuff, or break his nect just cause, LOL!

Posted by ladynyte    Friday, June 15, 2007 8:49 AM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

Wow I feel like you guys are talking about my home. I come home from work to cook, clean, laudry everything and feed and bathe my 11 month old lil girl (oh yeah and I watch her all day at work too). Frustrating huh !! Yeah men are all the same. I ask him to help and he says "ok" and then foregets or I'll do it later. Which =never comes around. As a matter a fact it wasn't till I burst into tears the other day  that he has been helping me at least a little.  Some advice try the SWIFTER MOP thats the only way my husband will clean the floor.

Posted by BabyBamz    Friday, June 15, 2007 8:54 AM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

HAHAHA! Its the same old story for all of us I think.  I have, of course, gone through the same thing, but i grew up with men like this, so i expected it.  Unfortunately, they will get away with whatever you let them get away with, so whats the solution?  The solution is, they wanna relax, go out with the guys, play golf, whatever?...well, if they wanna do that, then they have to do something in the house BEFORE they do anything else.  Remind them that its part of being a man

Posted by wedinnov    Friday, June 15, 2007 9:07 AM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

ha ha ha!!!!! i'm a newlywed and man, my husband and i try to split up the duties, i've definetly left the backyard work to him, i refuse to do it.  he likes to talk about wife/husband things as well, so i let him.  He & I both work the same amount of hours, being out of our home from 9 to 11 hours of the day.  HUSBANDS DUTIES...take out the garbage, clean the yard, and make money.  WIFELY DUTIES...everything else!!!!!!!!!!!! well...this is how i got around to it, if i'm too tired to be intimate...its b/c i've been cleanign cooking and still dealing w/the 20,000 other things that needs to get done inside.  So I decided for me to be the "perfect WIFE"  who always has a smile on her face, like betty crocker or something,  I need a house keeper!!!! $100 every 2 weeks, and if I have a party comes before and after.  I've budgeted that in!!!! LADIES TRUST ME ITS WORTH IT!!!  Then you just need to tidy up afterwards!!!  and if he has something to say then explain it to him in his terminology.  HOPE THIS HELPED!!!

Posted by chunky777    Friday, June 15, 2007 9:35 AM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

WOW, I must have found a real gem-though I already knew that I had.  My Hubby LOVES to cook, clean, sew, iron, etc.  I jokingly call him my girly man, but he IS a man.  He loves me enough to help (as a real man should) and he does help-he does not do it all.  I won't let him.  Though we are both around 40ish, we have made our mistakes the first time and know how not to make those same mistakes.  Another plus for us is that my children are grown and we have 2 toddler grandchildren so us having to care for our own kids at the end of the day is not an issue.  I don't have any answers for you, I just hope that you can find a solution.  I left my first husband because I felt like I was raising 3 kids instead of 2-even though that hubby was 13 years older than me.

Posted by MrsDennyP    Friday, June 15, 2007 12:34 PM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

I soo have everyone beat!  No ones husband can be as lazy as mine!  I put a laundry basket right next to his side of the bed when he goes to bed he strips right where he stands and can't seem to make it in the basket 2 inches away!  When he brushes his teeth he takes it our of the cup opens the drawer where the tooth paste is, does his thing then sets the tooth brush on the counter leaves the tooth paste on the other side of the sink and leaves the drawer open.  He stays up late and does work on his computer and every now and then will bring something home to eat when he goes to the kitchen to throw his trash away he doesn't quite make it instead of going the full way he sets the trash on the bar corner which is literally 2 feet away from the trash can!  Nothing I say to him seems to get through to him!  But its true you get what you married and as much as I want him to change his laziness I KNOW it will never happen!  But I can't help but love him!

Posted by Just me and my hubby    Friday, June 15, 2007 12:49 PM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

I can commiserate. My hubby hadn't cleaned his house in six years before I moved in. It's like pulling teeth to get him to do anything... and he's been unemployed since January!! I swear, I don't know what he does all day other than sleep, watch tv and do "God knows what" on his laptop. He has agreed several times to help out more and, specifically, to do the dishes. However, he has not done the dishes in about 3 weeks and I've just let them sit there because I'm too tired when I come home to clean. Then he complained about there being mold in the bottom of a glass that he took out of the dishwasher that was supposed to be clean. I told him that "we" need to do dishes more often so that doesn't happen. He said he would do the dishes the next day, but did laundry instead...He does take care of the outside of the house reasonably well, but I feel like he should do a lot of the stuff inside, too, since he's home all day.

Posted by mdoerfler    Friday, June 15, 2007 2:39 PM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

Well, I must say that my husband does a lot for me.  In fact, I am the person that sits on their butt in the family, although he does his fair share.  My way of getting things done is to not do them until it almost becomes unbearable.  And either he helps out or I call the maid.  I wash the clothes, but he has to fold his own.  I make the dinner, but he does the dishes.  He does contribute quite a bit and runs all of our errands, but he only works like 3-4 hours a day.  I really try to be the perfect wife, but I am the last one to sit and clean up his mess while he sits on his butt.  Eventually, it will bother him enough that he'll do it.

Posted by dallasfshiongrl    Friday, June 15, 2007 2:43 PM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

I know what you mean!  My husband is the same way.  He worked two jobs and that was all well and good.  I didn't mind doing the housework and the grocery shopping.  But now he is only working one job and only working the other 2 days a week.  He works nights and will be home during the day.  I told him that he could start helping out now and he laughed and said that it was my job.  I told him that I would quit my job then and he was not about that.  I deal with it, I don't mind doing it, but sometimes i would like some help.  

Posted by AMealey    Friday, June 15, 2007 10:18 PM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

My husband and I had a talk about chores recently, and he explained something to me that opened my eyes.  He said that when he says he's going to do something, he WILL get to it, and that I can either have it done right now (but then it's done his way) or my way (but then it's done in his time).  I found that concept fascinating... and alien.  Has anyone else asked their husbands about their phenomenon?

Posted by jc2576    Sunday, June 17, 2007 3:50 PM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

Same here.  It got to a point where we would actually fight about it.  I just can't understand why he will walk around a pile of dirty clothes or work around dirty dishes for days and not do anything about it.  Sometimes I try to see how long it will take him to pick something up and then I get frustrated and do it myself.  He's gotten better now that he's done the work a few times.  I think he's beginning to understand how much there actually is to do.

Posted by kpropes    Monday, June 18, 2007 5:25 PM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

I foresaw this being an issue in our house because I am a bit of a neat freak and my husband functions in chaos.  We decided before we got married that hiring someone to come clean the house once a week would prevent arguments over who is not pulling their weight.  I cannot tell you how happy I am that we did this.  We both work full time and at the end of the day neither of us has the desire to clean.   It is money well spent!!      

Posted by Lil Milfie    Tuesday, June 19, 2007 1:17 PM


re: Being married is oh so glorious!

I'm so glad I read the above comments.  Many of you have voiced my thoughts and feelings perfectly.  Too often I feel like I am the only woman with many of the types of problems mentioned and very similar situations.  Thank you ladies for sharing your misery because misery loves company.  Much appreciated.

Posted by dlmsigh    Tuesday, August 28, 2007 8:54 PM


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About CherryHeart

I am a wife to a wonderful husband and a mother to 2 beautiful girls


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