Disappointed in bridesmaids after the wedding

Posted Thursday, January 17, 2008 10:41 PM

I just got married in October and had 3 friends as bridesmaids (2 old HS friends and one good ex-co-worker).  My bridesmaids had very little to do for my wedding, as we had a destination wedding...they just came along for dress shopping and helped with the bachelorette party planning.  The wedding went off without a hitch, but I was kind of disappointed the lack of interest my bridesmaids had in the wedding, in terms of trying to ask if I needed any help.  Granted, my bridesmaids are all 3 single city ladies and have FT jobs, etc. - I was just hoping that they would provide some 'sister-like' compassion for me and my wedding planning days.  I don't have any siblings, so was hoping for a hand to hold or some caring words or something.  I wasn't a bridezilla at all

Now after the fact, I feel as if nothing has changed in terms of my relationship with them from my efforts..I still email, call regularly and try to hang out with them as before.  But even more so now, I feel like they don't even want to hang out with me...and that they are just sulking on their own.  They all complain about their work, personal lives, etc., but don't try to do anything about it...and it drives me nuts too...kind of off subjuect!  So I don't know if they are jealous or what.  I'm completely fed up with all of my now post-wedding efforts to hang with them, that I almost feel that it is not worth it to keep them in the 'good friends' group anymore.  Maybe I need to just stick with our 'couples' friends that HAVE been there to support us through our journey.

Has anyone else experienced this??

Comments

re: Disappointed in bridesmaids after the wedding

I know EXACTLY how you feel! Most of my friends are still single, and the one who is married does not have a good marriage so she really doesn't act married. Since the wedding I have hung out with two of my BMs twice... which is AWFUL! I've put in the effort but they haven't, and I know it is because I'm married and don't want to go to the bar every single weekend.

DH and I have started to hang out with a few people that are married and it is a lot nicer. They are at the same point in life as we are and it is so nice to have friends that can relate to us. I am trying not to just ditch my old friends... I love them... but right now if they don't want to put in the effort I don't want to either.

Good luck! You aren't alone!

Posted by Me&Mr.T    Thursday, January 17, 2008 8:54 PM


re: Disappointed in bridesmaids after the wedding

The only thing I can share is that you really shouldn't be surprised by your friends' lack of interest.  For starters, it was your wedding, not theirs.  You cannot expect them to be as into it as you are.  Second, they are all single and can't imagine getting married yet, probably, so they aren't feeling all those giddy feelings you are.  They may be at different places in their lives, but it doesn't make them bad friends.  They showed up, that's huge, especially since you had a destination wedding and they probably had to pay quite a bit to be there and celebrate with you.  Enjoy what makes you happy and let them enjoy what makes them happy.  

Posted by edmo    Wednesday, January 23, 2008 9:47 AM


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