Aching Heart
Posted
Monday, March 17, 2008 6:58 PM
Man, what a day so far. This morning, I went to go put my lunch bag in the fridge at work. There's one lady here who, as I learned this morning, is due in 4-weeks, and she was in the refresh area chatting with some others about it. I thought about how I long for the point where it's almost baby time for us, but I'm cool, I'm cool...
So I was cool until about 10 minutes ago. One of the higher-ups in our department brought his family in, which includes a 7-week old. I haven't gone over there to see his family, and I don't think I can. My heart is literally aching right now because everything is just so uncertain with baby timing for us. Walking through the baby aisle at Target yesterday, even my husband whimpered a little about how he wanted a baby. I talked with him later in the evening about everything that was kind of sitting on my heart, and he mentioned how much it all was starting to weigh him down, too.
I know I talk/think about it too much at times, but how can I not when it surrounds us? It's completely in His hands, but it's so hard to let go of our own desires sometimes. I know His timing is perfect and will bless us incredibly. I need to trust more in that. I'm doing much better, but I definitely could still use some work.
Just had to vent about that. I managed not to cry, so that's a plus. ^.~