Love knows no limit to its endurance no end to its trust, Love still stands when all else has fallen.

Interesting "watercooler" conversation

Posted Wednesday, January 23, 2008 3:51 PM

I took a quick coffee break earlier this afternoon and while I was settling into my usual table by the window, a coworker came up and asked to join me.  I said "yes of course, I'd love the company".. little did I know what I was in for. 

After some small talk, the coworker proceeds to ask me when my husband and I will have children.  Um, okay, I think she's continuing to make "small-talk" but maybe its getting a bit too personal?  I rarely interact with this coworker other than our 2 second "hello, how are you's" in passing in the hallway; so her question doesnt sit well with me from the start.  I politely say, " well, we are not sure, we have some time to think and plan, we are in no rush to start having children yet."  And attempt to change the subject. To this she says "well, I guess that makes sense since you want to make a little more money before you have kids and stop working."  Again, I think "umm okay, stop working?"  She sees the confused look on my face and says "well you surely are not going to continue with your career once you have children are you? That would be crazy and wrong!  A woman has to stay home w/her children if she wants to raise them properly."  Trying to maintain politeness I say, "that may be the opinion and practice of some women, but it is not the opinion and practice of all women, including myself".  She looks at me with horror and says that I must not have been raised to understand that children are more important than jobs.  WTH!?!?!?!?

I think a woman's decision to be a SAHM is her and her husband's decision and no decision to stay at home, or continue working is right or wrong.  I dont believe that by not being a SAHM you are crazy or doing an injustice to your children, nor do I belive it makes you a bad mother- am I completely off my rocker here???! 

Comments

re: Interesting "watercooler" conversation

Sounds like maybe she was creating a wicked plan to step into your position by getting you out the door AND fast!  I always thought I wanted to be a SAHM and then when I finally had the opportunity, I was bored to death.  I worked during the 1st 15 years of my girls' lives, then didn't have to work.  Maybe they were too old at that point for me to enjoy it, since they have their own lives now...but I think it's an individual choice. I worked and I have smart, beautiful, well adjusted daughters while I manage a career.  There is no right or wrong answer...the right thing is whatever is RIGHT for you & your family.   So, despite her opinion - I think she was mapping out her own career path and it was less about your (a total stranger's) family choices!

Posted by DANGERUSS & MITTENS    Wednesday, January 23, 2008 4:22 PM


re: Interesting "watercooler" conversation

How old was this lady?  I agree with Dangeruss' comment - I think she's gunning for your job.  It's amazing to me how self-righteous people can be!  Why do some people think that others want their opinions on everything?

Posted by GeorgiaYankee    Thursday, January 24, 2008 7:50 AM


re: Interesting "watercooler" conversation

Georgia- you nailed it, this problem with self-righteous people seems to follow me around!  I seem to attact people who like to tell me what I should do, how I should be, and what I should have been! Its quite sad to see that other people feel the burning need to comment on my life or how they think I live my life when in fact they know nothing about me.  I've been dealing with it since I moved away from home to pursue a professional degree!

I seriously doubt this lady is gunning for my job, she doesnt fit the qualifications, and she said I was "too high" on the career ladder for any married woman.  But then again, you never know!

Posted by Cristina<3 Whit    Thursday, January 24, 2008 9:40 AM


re: Interesting "watercooler" conversation

I am shocked that people that closed minded even exist in this world. Working doesn't mean you don't love your children, it means you love them enough to give them the best opportunities in life. But then you shouldn't have to defend yourself to someone you barely know, someone who is not going to change her mind, and someone who obviously has her head in the clouds.

Posted by Mike&Rae    Thursday, January 24, 2008 10:25 AM


re: Interesting "watercooler" conversation

Thank god no one has approached me on this issue.  I can't believe so many women ARE able to stay home...there's no way my husband could suuport us on his own right now, and we make decent salaries.  It's such a personal choice, I can't believe people still ask other people questions like this.  Thank god she didn't bring up the breastfeeding issue!

Posted by edmo    Friday, January 25, 2008 11:27 AM


Anonymous comments are disabled
About Cristina<3 Whit


Want the latest in baby news?  Subscribe to the poop.