My baby bird is flying the nest!
Posted
Wednesday, February 13, 2008 3:25 AM
You guys! I'm worried and panicked and sad with mixed feelings! My baby girl is flying the nest! For those of you who don't know, I'm older than the average nestie. I'm remarried (2nd marriage - happily). I also started my family young. I was 2 mos. shy of 19 when Bri was born (making me 37 - still young though!). Now she just turned 19 and gave me the news that she is moving out (not in a rebellious way).
She's been itchy for the past year to be grown up. She is getting an apartment with her boyfriend (20). They found a duplex (less than 5 mi. away - whew!) and are putting a deposit on the place Friday and moving March 1. I'm not upset that she's moving in with her boyfriend despite my conflicting Christian beliefs. Perhaps because I married young without a happy ending. And thankfully her boyfriend is loving, mature and responsible.
She will continue to get through nursing school and work part time as a nursing assistant. Her boyfriend has a job that will be a good full time job in 4 more years (UPS) and he will acquire another part time job in the meantime to take on the larger responsibility financially until she completes school at which time she will take on the larger financial responsibility until his job becomes "secure".
I'm just in shock. Time really does fly. My little one grew up so fast! She may be 19 but I still picture her 2 or 5 or 7 or 10 or even 15. Didn't she just make me a precious little hand print Mother's Day card? Giggle and insist watching Barney one more time? Sneak scissors and cut her bangs because she didn't want bangs anymore? Learn to play the violin? Smile a toothless smile before bed in anticipation of the tooth fairy? Hug me around the neck so tight and tell me "I love you" nose-to-nose, looking me in the eye? Beg for a guinea pig? Wear rainbow striped tights, a cute denim jumper and braided pig tails?
I'm just having an emotionally difficult time letting go and closing the chapter on 19 precious years of raising my oldest daughter. I'm not ready. I want to go back in time. I want MORE time.
I'm happy for her. I'm proud that she's a beautiful, smart, young woman.
Thanks for listening. I'm taking my precious memories to bed and going to cry into my pillow. I will accept this, but 19 years of being mommy entitle me to a good cry and reflections and memories keeping me awake until I'm too exhausted to think anymore. I deserve the indulgence.