Daydreaming
Posted
Thursday, July 17, 2008 3:52 PM
Being an ‘older’ woman on The Nest (I HATE that I can say that!), I sometimes get a little envious that my peers are so much younger.
Something hit me today and I have no idea where it came from. Maybe it’s my age, stemming from feelings of being a few years over the 35-year-old milestone (I refuse to say "approaching 4-0...because that's NOT the case...yet). Maybe it’s from reflecting back on the past 20 years and wondering how it flew by so quickly and realizing I could have done so much more and been so much more. Then there are years where I can’t really remember details … what happened to that time? Now a desire – to be more, to be someone I’ve always wanted is gnawing at my mind. I don’t want to sit here, at a job that just brings home $, only to regret in a few years that I don’t remember THIS time in my life either.
Seeing part of my life as a ‘blur’ depresses me. Yes, now I’m one of those old folks who wishes to could go back to age 21. 17 years ago…to live from that day forward and enjoy it all more. So…it’s not too late to take my own advice. I just have to determine how to go about it! It’s much easier to get all dreamy about making changes; it’s more difficult to take actually action. I’m not saying I don’t want to be married! Marriage is a GOOD part of my life now! Whatever changes I make will definitely include my DH’s input and advice. He’s always supportive. If someone mentions that these are the feelings of “mid life crisis” – you’ll make me cry! lol I am NOT old. I’m still young!
I can’t wait to finish editing this stupid time consuming spreadsheet at work. It’s where I’ll focus the blame for my daydreaming and nostalgia! And did you ever notice that dreams (even day dreams) make you think you can do anything...but then, reality smacks you. It looks a lot easier in the 'dream world'.