Posted Friday, September 05, 2008 11:00 AM
So...losing track of days is a good sign, right? And I haven't put my hands around anyone's neck and demanded a cigarette, so I think I'm doing pretty well considering how hard it is to just walk away from an addiction. So, hurray!
I'm getting excited about quitting my job and being at home too! My entire life as I knew it will be changing with the season!
And it's Friday - my fave of all days. At 4:30 the weekend begins. There are a lot of festivals going on this weekend. What fun! And maybe I'll dig around in my fall decorations and clean and decorate. Autumn is my favorite time of year.
I also have to design a baby shower invitation for my SIL. I love being creative.
So, lots to do to keep my mind occupied. I feel like not smoking - I suddenly have more time. Isn't that a strange thing to notice? I don't notice that I have more money, but I do notice that I don't "need" money or to run into the convenience store either. So, that's cool.
My tallies:
Nonsmoker: 66 hours
Countdown to resignation of full time job: 12 days! ( 8 work days!)
9/5: 104
Posted Thursday, September 04, 2008 8:01 PM
Just kidding. Day 3 - Much better today. Less thinking about it. So the hypnosis was definitely successful. I'm a non-smoker! I won't have any problems now. The urge isn't completely gone especially when it comes to habitual things such as getting in the car, talking on the phone or walking away from the computer (my brain thinks ooohhhh, smoke break!). But, before I know it, the urge is gone and my mind is busy thinking about something else. Yay!
And my boss asked me today if I would consider working part time until my replacement is trained/comfortable and to do projects. I fear that I'll get stuck with all of the parts of my job that I hate so that the new person won't quit! lol But, it's tempting to say yes so that I can ease into the paycheck withdrawal. I told her yes.
Well, tomorrow is Friday. Woo hoo. You might be seeing a lot of me over the weekend. I wont' know what to do with myself with the cigarette breaks removed from my life. lol I am going to start walking...thanks to my nestie friends for the small push of motivation towards healthy. :) Plus my butt is going to need it because I'm certain that my weight is going to increase because my new healthy lifestyle may be void of cigarettes but it still includes the goodies!
Posted Wednesday, September 03, 2008 4:35 PM
Day 2 after hypnosis/quitting smoking. And I am crabby. I just hate wanting something I can't have. It drives me crazy.
The good news is I'm not obsessing over it or craving it. It's just the habit part. Like waking up, after eating, taking a break, driving in the car, getting home. That part is really hard.
And now that I'm home with the entire evening stretching before me. I keep snapping at DD. I just can't help it. I feel like I ought to just go to bed and sleep until tomorrow so I'm not torturing myself or saying things I don't mean or punishing the innocent people who tiptoe around me.
I also finally cornered my boss who was surprised, but very nice about my resignation and genuinely excited about my opportunity. She is excited for me but did ask if I'd consider staying on part time for projects. The day after I quit smoking isn't a day for asking me any favors. My irritability keeps me biting my tongue. It's the safest way to get through the day.
I need to record this for myself, because I know it's going to change. Pre-quit: 103.
Posted Tuesday, September 02, 2008 7:21 PM
So, with the law changing in PA that there will be no smoking in restaurants/etc. and the company I'm working for becoming tobacco free today and for so many more health risks that everyone is aware of, my hypnosis was tonight and so far so good.
I was a considerate smoker. I wouldn't smoke around others and always went outside, but still a smoker just the same and I wanted to quit. I don't like the smell or the addiction, the cost or the inconvenience.
Quitting cold turkey feels like punishment. The misery of the obsession ... not being able to think about anything else other than a cigarette makes me a crazy mad woman and my DH and DD want to run and hide in another country.
I chose hypnosis because it's immediate and doesn't include pills/patches/ gum/etc. (But "woof woof".....lol).
I may have looked a little psycho chanting "I am a non smoker" under my breath the entire 1 hour drive home and the line the hypnotist kept using that makes me giggle "you will be surprised and amazed, surprised and amazed" hahaha keeps playing over in my head. The emphasis on SURprised and aMAZed was a little funny. But I made it the entire drive without craving or really thinking about it - too much. So...hoping the trend continues and "I am a non smoker"!
DH just ran out to get my brownie earthquake from DQ...I so deserve it! May as well celebrate right?
Posted Tuesday, September 02, 2008 8:09 AM
Ugh. My boss just sent me a text that she's out of the office again today. So, another day of putting off the task that's been weighing on my shoulders since last week, my resignation. I just may have to email her or tell her over the phone. My two week notice last week would have made my last day 9/11. Now I'm looking at 9/17 if I wait until tomorrow. I was hoping 9/12 would be my very last official day meaning I wouldn't have to work the events on that weekend (health fairs/etc. that I do not get paid to attend/work since I'm salaried). It's DH's birthday weekend and I'm not interested in working overtime when I'll likely be unable to take comp time.
Trying to look at the bright side of things and the positive today! At least with her out of the office, I may be able to accomplish and tie up more loose ends today with regards to catching up from my vacation. I may even have time to be on the nest throughout the day.
Posted Monday, September 01, 2008 6:20 PM
I forgot how much the sun can drain you. (Yes, despite our recent vacation.) We went to my mom's today for a Labor Day picnic and playing in the pool. The guys were all like kids and we had a fun time. I did have to force myself to jumping in the icy water myself because the alternative was being pushed. We had a ton of fun, but I have a headache and I'm ready for bed. It's 6:15! But, I still have some things to do, then I'm heading to bed early. At least it's a short work week. :)
Posted Saturday, August 30, 2008 7:34 PM
DH worked today so I had the entire day to myself and felt crafty, so I made these adorable 5x7's for framing side by side to sell on my community website. Whimsical and fun!
Posted Friday, August 29, 2008 5:34 PM
Giving my notice has turned into mission impossible. It's driving me crazy after all of the stress involved in actually making the decision and building up the nerve to face my boss...and it's dragging out! It's quite exhausting. By the time I can approach her, I'll have no excuse for being unprepared. In fact, after trying to accomplish this all week, I'll probably just blurt it out.
Wed.: I didn't want to do it the day I returned to work after vacation. It just didn't feel like appropriate timing and I was still a coward and not confident enough yet.
Thurs.: I made sure I attended a meeting 45 min. away in order to catch my boss. I took Ativan. I was prepared. Near the end of the meeting, she had to leave for a family emergency.
Fri.: She was out of the office due to the emergency and only responding by email from her Blackberry part of the day. Again, timing isn't right especially with her mind worrying about her poor mom.
Weekend.
Mon.: Holiday.
Tues.: Another attempt.
This is stressful! Well, at least I have 3 days to NOT dwell on it. :P