Wednesday, September 03, 2008 12:17 PM
Coping with a guest’s dietary restrictions?
An invited dinner guest RSVPs. She has issues—dietary issues. As much as you want to be the consummate hostess, you’re not obligated to re-work the entire menu to suit her. When (and how) should you draw the line, and when should you tweak your spread for a dinner guest?
There will always be exceptions to the rule, but if I’ve been planning a menu for weeks, there are generally only two reasons I’ll alter it last-minute: real health consequences and religious or personal beliefs. If someone has genuine food allergies, phobias or dietary restrictions, I’m more than happy to serve a nut-free or dairy-free meal, cut down on the salt or sugar, or include a vegetarian dish. (I probably wouldn’t rework the whole menu, but I would alter a few dishes, or add one.)
My host-ly goodness ends with finicky eating habits, fad diets and random dislikes. I won’t alter a planned menu because someone is on the South Beach diet. I won’t scrap a mushroom-stuffed lasagna I made from scratch if a guest calls a day before dinner to say, “I loathe mushrooms.” And I won’t buy low-carb dinner rolls because someone decided to stop eating carbs…yesterday.
Of course, good etiquette is all about making the people around you feel comfortable. As host, if you want to accommodate a guest’s request—not matter how outlandish—it’s your call. Most of us know the dietary quirks of friends and family, so planning a menu around a food issue—ahead of time—is no problem when they’re on the guest list. (But the same rules apply: if a friend calls to say, “I’m not eating meat now”, I’m not changing the menu. I’d ask her to bring a dish, or I might bulk up the veggie dishes I planned.)
It’s not as easy when you’re entertaining a group you’ve never fed before, like new neighbors or DH’s co-worker. My rule? Always ask about dietary restrictions when you extend an invite.
Have you ever had problems with a picky dinner guest? How did you handle the situation? What’s your house rule on accommodating a guest’s dietary restrictions?