The Second Child

Posted Friday, March 30, 2007 4:17 PM

Hmm, do parents, grandparents, friends, etc really love your second (or third or fourth) child as much as the first?  Do they even care as much?  The reason I even wonder this is because DH's closest cousin is having her second child today, and we're not really that excited about it.  We're still visiting the hospital when we get off work today, but we just haven't really given this child a thought.  However, when she was pregnant with the first, we paid so much attention to her and were so excited to meet her little daughter.  So I consider this, and I really don't think I'll be as excited about my best friend's second baby either. Is it like this for everyone?  Am I going to even care about my second pregnancy?  I take that back, I know I'll care, but will I even be focused on it, will I put in as much effort, will it even be as exciting as that first pregnancy?  Another of DH's cousins is also pregnant, and she has a very young baby at home already.  She said she isn't even paying attention to this pregnancy because she's too tied up with her other child.  They don't even really seem thrilled about having this child, when they were so overly joyed about the first one.  I want to love all my children equally, and I'm sure I will, but isn't there something about that first experience that takes away from the joy of each future child?  I don't even know why I'm thinking about this now, considering I haven't even had my first yet!  On the opposite end of the spectrum, I think of my best friend.....they adored their first dog, until they got their second.  Then, no kidding, they were always annoyed with the first dog and loving all over the second dog.  Then they had a baby and couldn't care any less about either dog.  Now the dogs just get on their nerves.  So my friend is actually scared to have another child because she's afraid they'll be all about the new baby and not really be so interested in the first one anymore.  Interesting alternative to how I'm feeling.

Posted by edmo

Comments

re: The Second Child

That's why they always say the middle child gets the crappy end of things, the 2nd child is always less important.  just the way it works.  Only difference I think is if the first is a boy and the 2nd a girl... then she might get more attention until a 3rd one comes along.

Posted by Jennicap    Friday, March 30, 2007 10:52 AM


re: The Second Child

That is so funny. I never thought about that but I think your theroy is so true. I think the parents have a natural untainted love for all their children but to outsiders I am sure it is diffrerent and lets be honest...how many kids have issues cause their parents did not know how to appropiatley split their love. It happens I think --but to good parents I think they just learn how to love all equally cause each child needs all the same fostering as others. Hey and what do I know I am still childless and I have to say I love and want kids but I am scared ass heck at the moment of having one!

Posted by Starynites    Monday, April 02, 2007 10:42 AM


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About edmo

I am creative, observant, smart, honest, romantic, funny, bossy, and ridiculous all at the same time.


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