Back away from the candy...
Posted
Wednesday, October 31, 2007 12:35 PM
Must... stop... eating... candy. You'd think I'm ten years old all over again, gorging myself on Halloween candy and feeling like I'm going to throw up. And this is like my fourth night doing this. Never will I learn, apparently.
Trick-or-treaters were so cute last night. The parents taking their kids out, not so much. I live in a decent neighborhood, but we live near a really crappy neighborhood. Parents are smart not to allow their children to trick-or-treat in their own neighborhood if they live over there, their candy bag may end up containing a needle or condom, but to come over to our neighborhood is not how I'd prefer it. Here are a few of my favorites:
1. A mom and dad with two kids. Mom is pushing a stroller, talking on her cell phone. The dad is walking next to their other little girl up to our house, talking on his cell phone. Poor little girl, about three years old, looks so scared and nervous, but heaven forbid mom or dad take a two hour break from talking to people on their cell phones to actually make trick-or-treating fun for their children.
2. The smokers. Smoking is a personal choice... until that smoking totally affects me. When you flick your cigarette butt in my yard, it's not cool, it then becomes a serious problem for me. And while taking your kids out for Halloween, please dear lord take a cigarette break. What, can't go two hours without a cigarette? And if you're going to stink all up of smoke, please back away from the candy dish and my sensitive allergic nose! My mom is a heavy smoker, has been my whole life, but she never ever smoked while taking us out trick-or-treating. She was holding our hands, helping us with our costumes or candy bags, taking photos.
3. The mom missing all of her front teeth. Wow. Her little girl was cute and all, but man, she really had like no teeth visible. And either it had been days since she'd showered, or she just got really dirty that day.
4. The maybe not even yet 20-year-old mother of three walking with her 50-year-old boyfriend who works at the drive-thru a few blocks up from our house. They just looked really funny together.
5. The entourage of about 7 adults with about 15 kids. The adults had such foul language, I couldn't even believe the things coming out of their mouths, not only in front of their own children, but in front of all the total strangers sitting in front of their houses passing out candy.
6. The cars flying down our street. We are a few streets back from a main street, and all our side streets have speed bumps in an attempt to slow down traffic. Doesn't work. Instead, cars go flying over the speed bump in front of our house so quickly that they lose control of their cars. Must be how my side mirror was taken off and my driver's side door dented a few weeks ago. And it was just that way last night. I am so glad a little child was not hit, but I would not have been surprised if one had been. Seriously, on trick-or-treat night, wouldn't you drive like 10 miles per hour where kids are all over the place?
However, hands down best part of the night was watching my awesomely cute husband smile at all the little kids in their costumes. He wants a baby so bad. He will make such a good dad. And I can tell he secretly really wants a little girl because he's a huge pile of mush when one comes around.