The Nest

Pregnant...for now

Posted Monday, December 03, 2007 11:44 AM

Hi girls!  Okay, so yes the title is right...I did test positive.  I should be WAY more excited, but some things are bringing me down and convincing me I shouldn't become too attached to the idea of being pregnant.

The Good:  I tested yesterday afternoon at 12 dpo.  I got a second line within 30 seconds.  I freaked out, but my first thought was, "That's pretty f-ed up to be showing me a fake second line and getting me all excited."  So I paced around my house until I felt like I could pee again, and I used a digital I'd be holding onto for this exact situation.  Longest three minute wait of my life!  Then it came up "Pregnant."  I had to wait for my husband to come home from the bar watching football - one and a half hours!  I couldn't eat, couldn't watch TV, couldn't think.  Chris was SO HAPPY!  But he totally didn't believe it.  There were two positive tests, but he said, "So how accurate are these things really?"  I said if it says I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant.  Then my ever-doubtful husband dug through the trash to get the pregnancy test boxes and read both of them COMPLETELY.  It was so funny.  Every time I said "baby" or "pregnant" the rest of the night, he followed it with "hopefully."  He's a technical guy, he needs blood test proof.

The Bad:  I took my temp this morning and it had dropped quite a bit.  That was my first red flag.  Then I took another pregnancy test and the line was lighter than it was last night.  I tried calling my doctor's office for hours but kept getting their automated voice recording, even though they were supposed to be open.  I went to the bathroom late in the morning and there was a tiny red clot.  I'm guessing I'm not going to stay pregnant.  I finally got ahold of my doctor and they can't see me until next Monday.  I'm actually thinking I'm going to start my period here in a few days. 

I just wish I could feel so happy, but I can't yet.  I feel like this is temporary, and the happier I am, the more depressed I'll be if this is a chemical pregnancy.  Learned my lesson though, never ever going to test early again...I'll wait until I miss my period.  This is too much to deal with knowing that I still may start my period right on time this Thursday.  I researched chemical pregnancy and saw that 50-60% of all first pregnancies end in an early miscarriage!  Something I could have avoided knowing by not testing early!

Thanks for all your good wishes.  I'm really hoping this sticks.