The Nest

Blah

Posted Monday, March 10, 2008 6:22 PM

I've always been an independent person. When I was a freshmen in college, I did not ask my parents for permission to study abroad, I told them I was going. I did not rely on them to help me pay (my dad gave me a Discover card knowing that it wasn't widely accepted in Europe... no one took it). My twin sis and I bought our first car by ourselves without any help (money or opinions) from my parents. So my parents have always been kinda whatever about what I do. They don't ever tell me what to do.

When I first got engaged, my parents were happy for me, but not like super excited. Like my mom wasn't running to the store to buy a bridal magazine, or dreaming up plans. I am the youngest of 5 children, yet only the 2nd to get married. I am also the first girl. My oldest brother got married in 1991 and has the reception at a bar. So my mom doesn't have any kind of wedding planning experience.

I was a little frustrated that my mom wasn't interested in my plans, but my twin sis agreed that that's just how my mom was. Even my dad was more interested in the ering than mom was.

So I went ahead and booked the ceremony and reception site. I didn't need their input bc they are not paying. After awhile, I was grateful that I didn't have to worry bc I would read about other knotties who were having drama with their parents or FILs. Lucky me, I thought. FI and I pay so we do whatever we want. Well when I tell my mom I booked the site at a hotel (and I told her it was for the ceremony and reception), she mentions her friend that we have to invite. Umm no, mom, not gonna work. She claims this lady is close to me and the rest of the family. I told my mom that I send this lady a Christmas card every year, and I never hear back from her. I haven't seen or spoken to her since high school or maybe freshmen year of college. So my mom and I talk and then I get off the phone a little pissed, and she can tell. About 30 minutes later, she calls to apologize and say we don't have to invite her friend, it's my wedding and I can do what I want. I was soo happy. I'm like wow my mom is awesome.

Fast forward to a couple weeks later. I'm talking to my mom and she's like oh I talked to your dad. Invite Tita Mila, me and your dad will pay for it. My mom does not understand that the issue is not the money. It's the fact that at MY wedding, I want the guests to be people who I love and care about, and are close to me. I am only having about 70 guests so it's gonna be fairly intimate. I didn't want to argue so I'm like ok whatever. And I took her off the B list and put her on the A List.

Then I talk to my mom last night. She spoke to her friend, so now she knows I'm getting married. And she is like, oh I can be Lisa's wedding Godmother. I was like mom what is that? What do they do? My mom couldn't tell me crap. Then my mom asks if I'm getting married in a church. I told her no (I had told her this before) and she asked me like 3 times, I'm like NO CHURCH! I told her I don't think I need a Godmother, esp if I'm not getting married in a church. She didn't say much after that. But now that she's pulling this crap, I don't even want this lady to attend at all.

And I can just see it now. Oh can she come to the RD, too? Blah blah. Hell no. Next time I talk to my mom, I am telling her straight out this lady is invited to the wedding only, no RD, no brunch (if we have one). Her friend is kinda pushy ad I can just see her asking if she can come up to see me while I'm getting ready. Sorry that is reserved for special people only. Ughhh.

Anyway, some CFL knotties did tell me a little more about wedding Godmothers. So now I know it's not something they made up. But yeah, I don't want to have that, and if I did, it sure wouldn't be my mom's friend.