Needed: More than love
Posted
Tuesday, September 18, 2007 11:25 PM
I had lunch with my maid-of-honor and another bridesmaid today, in fact, I asked my other friend to be a bridesmaid today (she said yes). She said she wants there to be lots of flowers... just how I'll afford the flowers aren't part of her thoughts on the matter. Now I just have my youngest sister and another childhood friend and I'm good to go.
I'm worried my fiancé and I have different views of the wedding, but I can't seem to get him to talk about how he sees it. I see not a huge event (with not a huge budget) that involves our friends and family visiting, pretty casual... but when I suggested we look at city parks he said he didn't think any city parks are nice enough for "such a grand event"... um, what grand event is he talking about? It seems like he's the one who dreamed about his wedding as a kid... I never thought about weddings, in fact, I went to a couple in my early twenties and I didn't enjoy them. No offense to anyone, but its the same old same old with DJs that have the same play lists and people going crazy over not much. So I'm not looking for the perfect day, just a day spent with family and friends (while wearing a wedding dress)... But when I asked him how he sees the wedding he didn't want to talk about it, which makes me think that maybe he's still not ready, but feels like he told me it would be next summer so he's reluctantly agreeing. Here's how I feel about our relationship, we're going to spend our lives together, whether you call it marriage or not neither of us will find in a relationship what we have in this one. That said, I never pushed him to propose (my mother is another story) so when he did, out of the blue (well, for him not so much out of the blue), I figured it meant he wanted to get married. He wants to marry me, but weddings scare him, or at least that's what he told me last year. He's 3 years my junior, I've always said that I don't want to rush or push him into anything because I don't want him to wake up at 30 and realize he didn't have the chance to do this or that before he met me and leave. But now, we're somewhat committed to the wedding, as we've made our parents make guest lists and I started asking bridesmaids to be my bridesmaids, yes at this point it might be too late to be scared. But do I push him? He gets pissed off when I press for information "I don't want to talk about wedding stuff" Should I chill out? We did look at a possible location last weekend and have plans to check out another one this weekend, is that enough for now? I feel like I want the time and the place before I can feel more relaxed and the time is dependant on the place and the place is dependant on the fiancé. My maid of honor said she'd look at locations with me, but my fiancé is genuinely interested in looking at locations with me and he wants to choose the location (or at least we choose it, not me choose it). It's something my maid-of-honor can't help with unfortunately. Not unless she can explain the weird psychology of guy's brains and convince my fiancé to speak up. I don't want to talk about weddings constantly, that's fine, but I do want to know where/when it's going to be. Am I asking too much? Ugh. I remember why I hate weddings now.