Ring Saga: The Final Chapter... and some deep thoughts
Posted
Monday, March 03, 2008 4:33 PM
The jeweler called on Friday and said they had the ring with the yellow gold band for M to check out. We went in Saturday morning and I got to see my actual wedding ring for the first time, it's perfect :-) M tried on his ring (tungsten w/yellow gold... although they'll order it in white gold for us) and liked it! Yeah! It was settled... a little more than a month after it started. The office manager informed us that although the new ring costs significantly more than we paid for it (it's still less than the one with the platinum band) they'll give it to us at the price we've already paid... seriously, that's like half off... they said, "we just want you to know we'll always be here to take care of you." So, despite the whole debacle we've been through, they'll be getting rave reviews from me (which is, I'm pretty sure, what they want). Now we just have to wait two weeks for his ring to come in... well, and 'til August to start wearing them :-)
Now for a more serious matter. As anyone who has read my other posts will know, I've been disappointed with the help I've been receiving from my fiancé. I've gotten some great suggestions as to how to handle him such as: tell him how I feel, just do it and let him make a decision when the options are at 2 or 3, use his talents etc... unfortunately, I've been unable to approach the subject with him... On Friday, I said something that started us on a long discussion of the whole wedding planning process. He says, and after much contemplation I agree, that I am actually keeping him from helping. I have a double standard in which I "have" to do everything whereas I only expect him to do what he "wants" (which at this point I have allowed to be nothing). He just kept saying "if you want me to help, let me know how" but somehow I just can't...So, wtf is wrong with me?
This is where it'll get deep... I spent a long time this weekend thinking this out. I have always been fiercely independent. I taught myself how to ride a bike, how to tie my shoe, pretty much my entire life I have felt that receiving help is a weakness, and that I much prefer my own autonomy on pretty much everything. Marriage is a partnership. I need to start immediately figuring out how to share my responsibilities, talking about something rather than ignoring it, sharing my bad stuff with M as well as my good stuff. I won't lie, this is going to be hard for me. Part of the reason our relationship works is that (this isn't as bad as it sounds) he is very needy and I need to be needed. But it's time for me to start learning how to ask for (and graciously accept) help. < /end deep thoughts >
With our new outlook on the wedding planning process, we spent most of the day Saturday registering at Target. It was fun, we had a really good time. Asked for lots of sheets and towels and the occasional odd thing that will make our family and friends laugh. Target gives you a pouch with some flyers in it when you register with them and M and I started going through them, one was for 2 small popcorns and 2 medium sodas free... we took them up on that and enjoyed them as we casually browsed the entire store. We have a couple more places we'd like to register... I think maybe Williams and Sonoma and REI, I'm thinking about another general stuff type store too, but I'm not sure if that would be good, or too much. We only registered for about 62 items at Target and our guest list is somewhere over 175 at this point... Once we got home I realized we could do pretty much any registering online, which would be SOOOOO much easier than actually running around the store, but M told me he had a lot of fun at Target and would like to go to the other stores to register. Aw, ok babe :-* But the idea of being able to add stuff online is exciting... I wonder if he'd notice if I added tons of stuff while bored at work...