So I need a blog...
Posted
Tuesday, March 11, 2008 5:28 PM
I used to be an avid blogger. In fact, I blogged before the word blog was a word at all. What was the word before? Web journal? I don't even remember. Anyways-- it's been a long time since those days, and now here I am again. Mostly for sanity sake. I mean, let's be honest. We all do a lot of talking everyday but is anyone ever really listening to our deepest thoughts and concerns?
8.5 months until our wedding day. I feel like I'm getting farther behind on getting things done. How do you know when you're doing the right things? I want to buy a dress but I want one that I'll still be in love with this Fall... etc. etc. The worst part is being so far away from EVERYTHING! Ken and I are getting married in Michigan. It's where we both grew up, it's where are families are, everything. Except us. We live 800 miles in a little concrete jungle known as Manhattan. It makes wedding planning difficult, but I can't complain.
Ken's mom has been a huge help with the wedding planning. I'm always so afraid to approach her though. About a month or so ago Ken's dad was diagnosed with colon cancer at the age of 43. He's had surgeries and he's doing really well resting at home before he starts chemo treatment. It's just so hard. Cancer changes your whole life. I know that Ken's mom wants to keep helping with the wedding but I could never ask her because I know she already has so much going on. Then again, I don't want to isolate her so she's just stuck in the situation with nowhere to go.
I also wish I could get my mom more involved. She's really just not into it. Probably because I have a tendancy to be picky and she just wants me to do it myself, and partially because she's very simple and had a simple wedding herself. It's not that she's not happy for us. She is thrilled. She just is NOT into the details... never asks me any questions, nothing. I wish I knew how to get her a little more involved even if she is so far away. I don't feel like it's right to beg her or anything. I mean, she's my mom, she's supposed to be into it!
I'm not the type of person that whines or complains a lot. (Well... depending on who you ask, I guess). Sometimes though I just feel like I can't do the planning without my mom. It's strange, because all my life I disagreed with her opinion whether it was what movie we should watch, what was considered being nice to my brother, or practically the color of the sky. Now I feel like this helpless puppy that can't pick out anything without her. I suppose it's all part about getting married. It kind of makes adult-life 'real-real.' I mean, don't get me wrong, I felt like an adult when I turned 18, and then again when I moved away to college, then when I turned 21, and when I moved to New York, but still! This is like change-my-last-name huge!