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Wedding Woes

Posted Tuesday, January 01, 2008 10:05 PM

Last night, or early this morning, I asked again when we're getting married.  He actually got mad this time.  Tongue Tied  I couldn't believe it.  Not to mention how hurt I was.  Crying 

We've been engaged for so long, but have had to change the wedding date so many times I've lost count. Time

There's always something.  Death in the family.  Illness in the family.  Now, it's money.  Every time we save money for the wedding, we end up having to fork it over for something or (more likely) someone else.  This last time, it was a new truck part (but that was an essential expense) AND the disgustingly high cell phone bill his little brother ran up.  Super Angry  That's about $600 right there.

I keep telling him to cut his little brother off.  He promised to get a job to pay for his cell phone, but here it is 1 1/2 years later and he hasn't done a darn thing!!  Except for run up the bill.  His little bro keeps saying that he doesn't want to work all the time like his brothers do.  DUH, you moron!!!!!!  Angry  How does he think that anybody is able to pay for the things that we have??!!!!!!!!!!

The money issue is so bad, that he can't even afford to get me the engagement ring that he wants.  I don't care, really.  He bought me an emerald ring a couple of Christmases ago; I'd be happy to use that as my engagement ring.  But, no; not good enough for him.  No

I told him last night that we should just cancel the engagement.  There's no sense planning or even talking about it.  From where I'm standing, it's not going to happen anyway.  Boy, were his feelings hurt.  I don't mean for us to break up.  God, no!!  I just mean for us to stay together and not even worry or think about getting married.  Since we can't afford a wedding.  I even tried suggesting getting married at the court house or eloping, and he about blew a gasket!!!  So I took that suggestion back.  Zip it!

And before anyone suggests that we get a second job, let me tell you what we do.  I am the Assistant Band Director at a local school and he is a Diesel Mechanic.  Not only that, but I also work part time for Sylvan Learning Centers and he works part time at a ranch he's been with for years and years.  Even with both of us working two jobs, money is tight. 

Our whole wedding was going to be somewhat small anyway.  We were going to ask some of our family members to cook, bake, and help with wedding favors.  Does anyone have any suggestions? 

Posted by JandJ-A
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re: Wedding Woes

I feel for you!  Just know that you don't have to spend a ton to have a wonderful day as long as you are flexible!  Our budget is $5,000 and we are paying for it by ourselves.  We set aside money each month, but it's HARD.  We have a mortgage, two car payments, FI has school loans and credit card debt, and I'm still in college trying to make it through without loans!  It can get very stressful money-wise, but my advice to you is to sit down and figure out if you can save anything, even if it's only $25 or $50 dollars a month.  It adds up quickly and also factor in things such as holiday/birthday cash you may receive, tax returns, etc.  

Once you figure out if you can save anything, calculate how long it will take for you to have a little money set aside.  Once you have a plan for how to save money/ pay for the wedding approach your FI and nail down a wedding date.  If you set a reasonable date (FI and I set ours for 1 1/2 years after we got engaged, in order to save the needed $$$), and then stick to it, you'd be surprised how much spare money you might be able to scrape together!  Also, there are ways to get around large expenses if you are willing to research!

Weddings can be done on a budget, and your FI may be more likely to set a date and stick to it if he feels like the financial aspect is possible.  That would be how I would go about it.  I'm sure you will figure things out, but remember all that matters is that you are together and hopefully you will be getting married, and as long as that happens the day will be special no matter where it is or how it happens.  Good Luck!

Posted by Stefibeth    Wednesday, January 02, 2008 9:04 AM


re: Wedding Woes

Funny you should mention that your budget is $5000.  So is ours.  With an absolute max of $6000.  

We planned our wedding when we first got engaged.  We keep thinking of ways to cut expenses, and we've come up with quite a few, so that eases the stress some.  But all of those other expenses that crop up are what's making me mad.  And those other expenses usually come from HIS family members, especially his little brother.

Tomorrow is our anniversary, so I was thinking of maybe approaching him about a savings plan sometime this weekend.  We were supposed to be married by New Years 2008, but I'm willing to put it off until Summer 2009 if necessary.  

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement!

Posted by JandJ-A    Thursday, January 03, 2008 8:42 PM


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About JandJ-A

I am a family oriented person who loves to laugh.


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