Lachrisa:
Elle's POV
Currently, I am using my blog to help accomplish and work through several things going on my life right now. This may very well change. I've always believed that life is what you make it... so this is my life as I choose to make it. Or actually, Our life as We choose to make it, but from my POV.

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Eureka!... Er, maybe

Posted Tuesday, June 24, 2008 12:08 PM

I got two books about marriage at the library last night, The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage (which I started this morning) and Till Death Do Us Part (Unless I Kill You FIrst). While I was reading this morning, I had an epiphany (or so I think... maybe, I don't know). It was that I should start trying to be more of the wife that DH expects me to be by keeping the apartment clean and making sure I at least know what I'm making for dinner every night and basically being more of a homemaker. But then I thought, how is that going to help our trust issues? On one side, I think it will help show him that I am committed to our marriage but on the other hand I'm really not sure that will help with trust. Not to mention, I do not like cleaning and I have never thought of myself as housewife material. The only part of cleaning I like is taking clothes out of the dryer because they are warm and cozy. He is actually much better at cleaning than I am. Hmm... I'm going to have to think about this a little more. Maybe I need like a weekly plan to help me keep things clean and then I'm not trying to do everything in one day. Instead of watching TV shows that are only ok, I could clean and then I would be able to relax during the shows that I really like. Since I'm going to visit my mom this weekend, this week would be a great time to try this little idea out. Tonight, I am going to clean the bedroom and my half of the closet (since his is actually pretty clean). This may be one of those things that I need to take one day at a time, so I am going to start with today and try not to dread the cleaning.

Posted by Lachrisa
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Comments

re: Eureka!... Er, maybe

Good luck, little efforts do help.

Posted by MandyE-worth    Tuesday, June 24, 2008 11:50 AM


re: Eureka!... Er, maybe

It did in fact mean so much to Brian when I decided to make more of an effort to clean. not just "pick up" after it got messy but actually KEEP it clean. Now not only is he happier, but I am too. It's a major relief for us both to come home everyday to a clean home...and we are more proud of it.

I've always loved to cook and I think its been a big help in out marriage too. He knows he has a committed wife at home every night, we sit at the table and eat (not at the TV) and now when I work late he takes it upon himself to cook and it means so much to me!

and one more thing I've learned that Brian loves. He LOVES it (and it helps him trust he's the only one for me) when I get into bed at night or pull him onto the sofa and say "I missed you so much today" and lay one on him.  Even after just a typical day at work. Sometimes it leads to sex sometimes it doesn't...but it lets him know I looked forward to seeing his face when I got home...and noone else'!

Men are more like women in their needs than they let on! just do things for him that you would like from him. Eventually they catch on and return the favor :)

Posted by AlwaysMrs.S    Tuesday, June 24, 2008 11:59 AM


re: Eureka!... Er, maybe

I love Dr. Laura's book! I was a bit skeptical at first, but she makes some really good points. I actually bought it right b4 our honeymoon and read it on the plane.. so did my hubby. I'm actually reading it for a second time right now :) Its kind of a page turner.. and I think I'm going to buy it for my sister who is engaged :P

Posted by JenK07    Tuesday, June 24, 2008 11:59 AM


re: Eureka!... Er, maybe

I think you should definitely work on this marriage, but I don't think you should try to become "little wonderful homemaker" to make your husband happy.  Changing everything about yourself isn't the answer either and will just cause resentment.  I think the two of you should each make a list (separately of course) of what you expect out of each other.  Then go over the lists.  If there are things on the list you totally can work on, do it.  But if it asks you to change everything about yourself, no.  He married you for who you are and can't expect a new person to emerge now.  Same goes with you and expectations you have of him.  Hopefully he will work on things, but he won't become Mr. Romantic if he wasn't in the beginning (just an example).  Good luck!

Posted by edmo    Tuesday, June 24, 2008 2:30 PM


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About Lachrisa

I grew up in Colorado and then met my husband when I was going to school in California. We have since moved back to Colorado with our two dogs.


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