ZOMG you're so skinny!

Posted Thursday, March 06, 2008 4:03 AM

It really gets on my nerves when people gasp and exclaim "You look like you've never given birth!" and enviously stare at my petite frame.  Why does this irk me so?  Because 90% of the women I help at my job *** about how having babies make you fat and when I tell them I have a 20 month old, they look like they could wring my neck and then say "Wow, you're so skinny!"

Yes, I know, it's such a terrible thing to have said to you.  But it bothers me that they say it in this tone and look at me with these judging eyes.  It all started the day a young woman came in who was about 20 and complained the entire time about how fat she had become since giving birth to her child a few months before.  Nothing fit right, her boobs were too big, her belly still jutting out a good foot in front of her blah blah blah.  Towards the end of her tirade she looks at me seriously and says "Trust me, never have kids, they make you fat."  Not really thinking I reply "My son is 1 1/2."  This is where I'm pretty sure she would have body slammed me had her mother not been there and I wasn't working.  Yikes.

After this point, I've had various women come in and say the same thing over and over again.  Not only that, my husband's aunt (by marriage) always says "I used to be a skinny little thing like you.  Then I had my third child and I just can't get the weight off.  Three must be the magic number."  Um, how about not?  My mom had 3 kids and she's still skinny as a bean pole and over 40.  An old co-worker of mine has 3 kids and is tinier than ME.  

My boss always laughs when I complain about this because she doesn't know how irksome it is.  In the back of my mind I'm constantly thinking "Why don't you do something about it if you hate how you look?"  Granted, some people are just naturally prone to be bigger.  But complaining about how you can't get the baby weight off after 3 months is a bit bizarre.  I mean, it probably took me 4 months or so to get down to the super skinny size and then between then and now I've evened out.  My skinniest post-baby weight was probably 105 and now I'm back to about 115 lbs.  

But seriously.  I don't know if I'm just in a lucky as hell situation because I find time to work out and spend time with my husband and cuddle with my baby.  Sure the housework more often than not gets put on the back burner, but what's more important?  Making sure your house looks spectacular or having a few minutes to just sit and kiss your husband while the baby sleeps?  I know where my priorities lie.   

Posted by lildahls

Comments

re: ZOMG you're so skinny!

Don't feel bad. You just are being who you are.  So I haven't had a baby, but I've been in that similar situation many times...where I've always been skinny.  I never really worked at it or paid attention to my health until my 20s, but now I work out and try to eat healthy and I get criticism for doing all that because 'i'm already skinny'.  Whatever.  It is how I define myself and I work hard to look good.  You shouldn't have to feel bad about saying what you do...you should be honest about your situation, that you have a child and you are fine.

Actually, that's part of my fear of having kids is that I'll lose my figure, but ...I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Posted by chi-wine-lady    Thursday, March 06, 2008 12:31 AM


re: ZOMG you're so skinny!

I can understand where other women are coming from with the comments (not that I've had a child), but as someone who knows they will have to battle their whole life not to become overweight or obese.  All the women in my family looked pretty good when they were young but have all become overweight/obese as they age, so even without kids, I have realized I have to work harder.  It is hard to look at someone who is naturally smaller without envy.  We are jealous - I admit it - but don't feel guilty about being skinny, just feel some sympathy.

Posted by Mrs. Rachel A.    Thursday, March 06, 2008 10:08 AM


re: ZOMG you're so skinny!

Yup, jealousy is very natural.  I have it about other things.  Like when I see a friend or cousin's new way expensive house for the first time, I get super jealous and wonder where in the world the money is coming from to pay for that.  Or when someone tells me their parents paid for their college, I get really sad the next time I write my check out for my school loan for $325 each month.  Shrug it off and be grateful you look the way you do, but don't be upset with someone for being a little jealous.  Maybe nothing makes you jealous, but for some people, it's how skinny others are.

Posted by edmo    Thursday, March 06, 2008 11:03 AM


re: ZOMG you're so skinny!

Thanks for the great comments!  I do get jealous about other things so I definitely relate there.  Some days it just gets a little too repetitive.  Thanks again for reading, I wasn't sure if anyone would or not!

Posted by lildahls    Thursday, March 06, 2008 2:44 PM


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