This really drives me nuts
Posted
Tuesday, July 29, 2008 2:28 PM
I have a friend who is 6 years younger than me. She will be a Junior in college this year and she's really fun to hang out with. My only problem is that because there are 6 years between us, I'm slowing down in the whole partying 'til 5 AM scene while she is still in the midst of it. Sure you can find me dancing 'til 2 AM some weekends and playing party games with my friends in the comfort of my own home. But I am past the house parties where a billion are playing beer bong and getting busted by the cops. I mean seriously, I only really feel my age when I find myself sitting at one of her parties bored out of my mind because I don't want to get so wasted that I'm puking off the porch.
When she isn't partying it up or working, we sometimes go out and play disc golf or sit at my house and watch a movie or play Rock Band. These times it is totally fun and I feel like I have a friend. But there have been a handful of times where we've made plans and she has totally bailed on me. Instance one. A month and a half ago we made a plan to take a daytrip to Fargo to go shopping and see the Street Fair because I LOVE going to the Street Fair every year. She made sure we had a day that worked for both of us and got the day off. Four days beforehand, I asked her if it was okay if we met up with a couple of my other girlfriends for dinner and she goes "Oh yeah, I have to work that day because I have a friend coming up from out of town on Sunday." Excuse me? You didn't even bother to tell me this BEFORE? What if I hadn't asked you when I did? Would I have found out the day we were supposed to go that you couldn't go anymore? She asked if I could go on Tuesday and I was like I'm busy, and besides, the Street Fair starts on Thursday and only goes for a couple of days, that's why we planned it on Thursday. I got over it and asked her instead if she would like to go to the County Fair with us that Friday for Jax's birthday. She said she would love to go and for me to call her. That Friday I called her and she said that she was getting ready to, get this, GO DRINKING and that she couldn't come with us. Really? Come on, way to be a friend. This last one, is the one that is truly the last straw for me. Last week I told her that we were going camping for the weekend and that she was welcome to join us on Saturday/Sunday since she had the weekend off. She tells me that she totally wants to go since the campground is 20 minutes from her hometown. So while the plans weren't set in stone, she made it sound as if she totally wanted to go and would be there. I ask her on Friday night if she would be showing up. She said that she was going to a friend's house and would be staying in town the entire weekend. Didn't even say 'sorry dude, I changed my mind', just said she wasn't coming.
I'm just furious that she is being flaky on me. Yes I understand that this last weekend wasn't really set in stone, but I am sick and tired of inviting her to do things and then she totally flakes out on me. She doesn't even say she can't come, she just ditches me. This weekend I was telling Andy that I refuse to ask her to do anything anymore because I just know she's going to screw me over. And he agreed that I should wait for her to call me to do something because that's probably the only way I'll know she really wants to hang out with me.
I know that at the heart of this, I'm mostly upset because she was one of the last girls I actually consider a friend. And to be snubbed by someone whom I have considered a close girlfriend, just kills me. If you can't tell, I do not make girlfriends very easily and therefore when I do make one, it's pretty special for me. A very big part of me is scared that I will become my mom. My mom, as outgoing and fun as she is, doesn't have that many friends. I've seen other parents snub her because she's...well, even I have to admit, she's kind of weird. Just kind of awkward socially and much prefers to hang out with the little kids than any of the adults. Plus, I think a lot of the parents snub her because they're a bunch of snobs. This insecure part of me worries that I'm going to become one of those outcast parents.
As sad as I am that summer will be quickly coming to a close, I'm also kind of happy. In September the Mommies' church group will begin meeting again and I'll be able to interract with other moms (some around my own age) and Jax will be able to play with other little kids. Plus since I will (hopefully) be teaching piano lessons, I hope to befriend other parents this way as well. All I really want, ultimately, is a best friend again. Someone who likes to do what I do, understands what I mean without having to ask and is just there for me. A girlfriend. Because Andy is all that and more, but come on, sometimes you just need a good gal pal to lean on.