I thought . . .

Posted Tuesday, June 26, 2007 9:11 PM

that the Nest was supposed to be about getting advice and support from other women who have had the same experiences that you have.  I am finding out that for some, it is a way to make people feel belittled and guilty for being themselves.  I wrote a post on a board asking for advice, and almost all the responses so far seem to act like I am this wilting flower who can't stand up for myself.

The responses pretty much seem to run - who cares if you piss off your DH and you have a raging fight b/c you kicked his friends out - just kick people out without having any tact or acting like an adult - act like a child and do crazy things that no reasonable adult friend would do . . . That is not what people wrote, but it's the feeling I get of being attacked, like I should be throwing fits and acting like a child and making decisions without consulting DH. 

I'm sorry, DH and I are in this together, and I want helpful advice, NOT catty remarks that pretty much tell me to get some balls.  I would never respond to a plea for help with that kind of attitude.  I have balls.  I have a marriage, and I have to live with the consequences of my actions. 

We are supposed to be adults who want to help each other and befriend each other.  Adults, in my world, know that doing outrageous things can backfire and be hurtful.  Adults know that you should use tact whenever possible instead of lashing out.  Adults know that you should not burn bridges for stupid reasons or for one infraction.  Adults know that you win more bees with honey than with vinegar.  Adults know how to act just that - adult.