Thoughts
Posted
Wednesday, October 21, 2009 10:17 AM
Random thoughts.
I'm off all meds - yay!
Sam and I went for a walk yesterday. The beginning of my return to exercise.
I want to get snuggly with my hubby,but I'm still leaking down there.*Sigh*
Sam is doing better at nursing, but is also sleeping longer stretches in between, and I have no clue if that's okay to see during the 3rd week. All these unknowns . . . I hate not knowing . . . I'm going to have such issues the next 18 years.
I watched A Baby Story yesterday,and it was hard. I feel cheated out of my birth experience, and knowing next time I could try for a VBAC but end up with another c-section, is upsetting. I've always been so healthy and hardy, but reproductively I feel like I've failed (and yes, I know there are those who would give anything and go through anything to have a child, and I'm not ungrateful). If I was a cow or sheep, we would be culling me. A miscarriage, then full-blown eclampsia - it makes me scared to think what could happen next time. Okay,enough pity party. This is just something it's going to take me a while to come to terms with.
Next week Sam and I are going grocery shopping. DH has been doing a good job, but it takes him forever and he spends way too much. Yes we need to be careful around crowds, but we can't hide forever.
Today we have a weight check appt. I hope we can get off the supplement crap and just do straight breastmilk after this.
I have got to get my pitiful plants planted, make some phone calls, and make goodies totake to the nurses. And begin thank yous (we have gotten so much random stuff in the past two weeks that I'm scared I'm going to leave somone out).
Alright,we have to wake this baby - surely he's hungry by now?