The Nest

Da Da Da Dum

Posted Wednesday, December 12, 2007 9:03 AM

My fiance and I have been together for almost seven(!) years and we do not have a song.  He likes heavy metal and gangsta rap; I like country music and trite club songs.  He's danced twice in our relationship: a kind of rythmic bending the knees and sticking out the elbows.  Bend and repeat, bend and repeat.  I'm the girl at the club swinging on the poles and dancing on the bar.

No wonder then, that I've been stressing about our first dance.

 I want some kind of Fred and Ginger foot moves, him swinging and spinning me, twirling and leading me, and then going for the big dip-finale.  What I have, is us swirling in a sad kind of junior-high circle dance, complete with him stepping on my toes.

So here we are, with no song and no dance moves.  But I am the eternal optimist.  Anything can be fixed as long as I put my mind to it, right? 

Well, my mind and good ol' Google.  The first thing that pops up is a video.  The YouTube Wedding Thriller Dance.  I'm amazed, and enchanted.  I watch videos with the titles "Best Wedding Dance Ever" and, my favorite, "T&A wedding dance surprise."  I have hope. 

These couples have about a minute of slow dancing, then the song changes and they bust out break-dancing/old school/booty dancing moves.  I think: We can do this!  It's so over the top ridiculous that I about die laughing.  I bet I can teach my dance-impaired fiance to do the running man, the sprinkler, and maybe even the windmill.  If we make it so utterly absurd, so completly comical, no one would ever guess our dirty secret.

Sounds easy, right?  All we have to do is pick two songs (one slow, beautifully romantic and one booty-shakin' pop-n-lock), choreograph a "Fred and Ginger meets Britney and Kevin" routine that will knock everyone's fur-lined boots off, teach my dancelexic fiance those ground-shaking grooves and then practice them every weekend until our wedding next year.

Piece of wedding cake!