The Dark Side of Monograms
Posted
Thursday, February 21, 2008 9:03 AM
I don't really want to give up my last name. When I brought it up to my FI a few months ago, he got all sad and pouty. He's adopted, and he's also the last of his family to carry the family name. He has no siblings, and his uncle decided to not have any kids. He has a son from a previous relationship, but since they weren't married, the mother chose to give the son her last name.
So, I tested a few theories on my fiance. I offered him my last name. I suggested a hybrid of our two last names. I suggested a new last name, something that reflected our personalities. No, no, no.
Which I can understand. My fiance is traditional on this issue. He isn't even very hip to the hyphenated name. I can live with that. But I still don't want to give up my last name.
Who am I without my last name? I've been Jennifer L for 27 years now. All my friends and exes and colleagues and acquaintances know me as Jennifer L. If you google my name, the whole page is me, except for the two bottom entries. I've worked hard to have that many google references. I have poetry published by that name. I have books published by that name. What if I become a famous poet and go on Oprah, and none of my high school friends (and enemies, and exes) ever realize that smart, sophisticated, rich lady is really just plain old Jennifer L. What if?
Am I still the same person after that I'm married? Should I just get a new haircut, trade in all my cute clothes for mumu's, dump my sexy high heels and start cooking pot roast and clipping coupons with my spare time? Who is this Jennifer I, and what does she spend her days doing? I don't know her. Obviously we are not the same person if we don't have the same name. Sometimes, I am Jennifer. Sometimes I am Jen. Sometimes I am Jennifer Nicole!! People call me different names based on how I am acting and what I am feeling at that moment. Formal, serious Jennifer. Fun-loving, goofy Jen, and being bad and getting yelled at Jennifer Nicole!! Is Jennifer I dumpy, dowdy, and depressing? That's kinda how I see her. Crushed under the yoke of tradition.
Then came the monogram. Aww...the monogram. Sadly, the mongram idea almost sways me to the dark side. Think of it, we can have our own THEME! It is basically a clan stamp that can be put on anything and everything. Towels, stationary, invitations, gobo. We can get T-shirts with our monogram on it and proudly wear them to Disneyland. Or Mystic Casino. We can put ashtrays outside our front door and stamp our monogram into the sand, just like the Bellagio. The ideas are endless.
Sad, aren't I? A monogram sell-out. Throw in a free toaster and I'll sell you my firstborn.
So tonight, on the Knot, I found a happy medium. I'll be allowed to keep my last name, but still get a cute little monogram. I'm dropping my middle name and replacing it with my soon-to-be maiden name. No more Jennifer Nicole. Instead I will be Jennifer L I. I'm happy, fiance's happy.
I never bonded with Nicole like I did with my last name, anyway. No long, ethnic (his and mine) hyphenated last name that drips with vowels. No questions over who I am. Jennifer L. Just new and improved. Jennifer L with some baggage. Monogramed baggage, of course.