Is it really MY day?
Posted
Thursday, July 10, 2008 2:39 AM
When I first began wedding planning, I agreed with the old adage: "It's the Bride's Day." Of course it is. She has the army of beauty slaves, the poofy white dress, and the tiara. Who else's day can it be?
But now I'm a more experienced Bride. I see how hard my Mother has worked on this wedding: planning, paying, and primping. She works extra shifts to pay for what she considers her half. So does my stepfather. My mother hunted for the perfect dress for six months (and counting!) because it's her day too. Everyone at the wedding will eventually find themselves talking to my mother. Complimenting her on the wedding and her beautiful daughter. And her dress, of course.
Then there's the Bridal Party. All the hours they've spent talking, planning, and dreaming of this moment too. All the ideas, hard work and fun. Don't even mention all the years I put them through of relationship troubles (Does he like me? I hate him. I love him. We broke up. Should I take him back? We're back together. I hate him.). They should earn a diamond tiara just for that! Not to mention the Bachelor/ette parties, the showers, the planning meetings, shopping meetings, travel to and back. Yuck. It's a ton of work. Hair, shoes, jewelry, pedicures, fake tans. It's a lot of money too! But these people wouldn't miss this day for the world.
And that brings me to The Guests. The people you love most in this world, who have come together to share this most important day with you two. All that time we spend agonizing over the favors, the menu, the invitations. If there are no guests, there is no Party! One of the things I'm most looking forward to is seeing all my beloveds in one place. To introduce my best friend to my Aunt Judy and my Great-grandmother to my favorite bartender. It just wouldn't be a day without them there, and I try to show that with my obsessive planning!
And last but not least. There's the groom. The man who sends our hearts a-flutter and our eyes a-rolling. The man who sits quietly by my side listening (okay, half-listening while playing WII) as I lament over which cardstock to buy, satin vs silk, my troubles over finding the perfect invitation ribbon. The guy who reminds me to take a night off from cutting paper and painting aisle runners. The guy who refills my wine because my hands are covered in paint or I don't want to stop my project. He might not care about what kind of ribbon I'll eventually choose, but he does have his own needs. Without a groom...well, I don't even want to imagine that.
So it's not MY day. It's Our day. All of ours. A day of family and connecting and loving and sharing. And that's the best way to begin the rest of our lives.