Posted Wednesday, October 22, 2008 4:50 PM
To all my faithful blog readers (ha!),
My blog will now be here: http://rachaelnicolescrazythoughts.blogspot.com/
Love,
RachaelNicole
Posted Sunday, October 19, 2008 9:08 PM
I am so disappointed this month. I know my blog has almost become solely about ttc, but that seems to be consuming my life right now. I am having some wicked period cramps, so I know it's coming tomorrow. As if that wasn't enough evidence that we didn't conceive this month, my chart sucks (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1ebdd3 if you're interested). And it doesn't help that I was venting to DH and he said, "Well just don't think about it." Thanks hun, that helps a bunch.
I think the main reason that I'm so disappointed is because I really wanted to be able to tell our families on Thanksgiving so that we could tell everyone in person. Well, that and I am so scared to hit that six month mark. I don't know why it scares me so much because I know that it takes plenty of people 6+ months to conceive.
Ok, vent over. Thanks for listening.
Posted Saturday, October 18, 2008 3:45 PM
That's what I have been lately, a once-a-month blogger. My life has been pretty uneventful.
Well, AF hasn't paid her monthly visit yet, but I'm pretty sure this was not our month to conceive. I am expecting it to come tomorrow because I've been feeling very crampy, like every other month when I get a BFN. Ugh. I am sort of feeling relieved now that my nurse practitioner told me to find an OB if we haven't conceived after 6 months of trying. So, that means the end of December. Maybe then if something is wrong, we'll be able to find it early and get it taken care of. I know some people try for a lot longer that we have, but I truely am surprised that it hasn't happened yet. I guess I just always thought it was a lot easier to get pg than it actually is. That, and I am very impatient when it comes to this.
The ILs came to town yesterday for the weekend. FIL and DH are working on the kitchen and it is almost finished! The only thing left is just cosmetic stuff, like trim, and they're working on that now. By the time they leave tomorrow, the kitchen will be completely done!!! That is such a foreign concept to me. I love love love my kitchen! We've been able to make it exactly how we want it, and it's awesome. Plus, I love to cook/bake, so I need a kitchen that I love. Now we need to get started on the 2nd bedroom. We're going to make it into the master bedroom and make the room that we're using now the (future) baby's room. Of course, it will just be an office or guest room until we actually have a baby to put in it. We also need to put a vent in our bathroom. I have NO idea how much that will cost. Maybe next week I'll call for an estimate because it gets so steamy in there when we shower that the paint is peeling and everything gets all wet. Well, that's what we get for buying a crappy house and fixing it up. We got one hell of a deal though! Oh, and the 28th of this month will mark the 4th year anniversary of when DH bought this house.
Posted Thursday, September 25, 2008 9:04 PM
It's been a while since my last blog. I feel like since I got my new job I've been going nonstop. That's a good thing I guess. With my last job I never had the energy to do anything after work. I think I was seriously bordering depression. Now after work I'm doing more housework, I'm going to the gym, I'm able to make appointments that I was putting off before because I didn't have the time. I am so much happier now. I love the kids I work with, they're great. I get along extremely well with the teacher I work with. Right now it looks like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.
And TTC, well, it didn't happen this month. Boo. I went in for my annual exam a few days before I got AF, and told my nurse practitioner that we're TTC and have been since June. She said if I'm not pg after six months of trying (November) then I should see an OB. That freaked me out. I went home and cried after that. DH helped me feel better by reminding me that although we weren't avoiding, we weren't really trying in June, so it's really only been three months. We'll go with three months. We'll call this cycle four. But I'm still disappointed because I really thought this would be our month.
That's all I have to say really. Well, that and I just finished watching the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy and holy depressing Batman! But I still love it.
Posted Friday, September 12, 2008 5:17 PM
Well, the first week of my new job (or three days rather) went very well. The class is small, only seven kids, and that's actually larger than normal. I think we'll be losing one girl next week though, which is good because that means she is ready to go to a public school. Anyway, so far so good. I'll have to be there a little longer before I can give the final verdict.
Ok, so this is probably TMI, but my nipples have been aching like crazy today! I'm hoping maybe that's a good sign 
but I'm only 4 dpo, so I'm not sure I would be experiencing any symptoms yet if I was pregnant. A girl can hope right? It's going to kill me to wait to POAS. I'll probably test at around 9 or 10 dpo simply because I know I can't help it. I am a compulsive POASer. It's a sickness.
Speaking of pregnancy, I just found out that my cousin is accidentally pregnant for the second time in three years. Ugh. Seriously? She almost died the first time because she was too scared to tell anyone she was pg until she got eclampsia (not pre-eclampsia) at 8 months and had seizures and had to be rushed to the hospital. She ended up giving the baby (who was healthy, thankfully) up for adoption. After going through all this, she still didn't learn her lesson. Now she's KU again, she works in fast food, her boyfriend works at an $8/hr job and they are SO not ready for a baby, but she's keeping it. I am just so disappointed in her. I thought she was smarter than that. And how fair is that? I know plenty of wonderful people who can't have children who want them so badly, while my cousin keeps having unwanted pregnancies. It makes me angry. Vent over.
Posted Sunday, September 07, 2008 8:54 PM
Well, the in-laws came to visit on Thursday and they left today. I have to say, I am pretty lucky when it comes to in-laws. My FIL is awesome, and my MIL is bearable. DH and his dad usually end up working on the house the whole time when they come to visit. This time it was mostly finishing touches. They finished putting up trim around the doorways and windows, they put in a door to the basement, and they replaced part of the wall that the previous owners had cut a hole in to put a tv. Plus, they brough their tiller, and MIL tilled the part of the front yard where we had a huge tree removed. The place looks great. They seriously love doing this stuff too. They considered this a vacation.
My fertility test strips finally came yesterday. PSA: If you order anything from saveontests.com, expect to wait a few weeks before it comes. Anyway, it was good timing, because I took a test as soon as they came and it just happened to positive. It was positive today too, and I was having major cramp-like pain on my lower right side, so I'm pretty sure I ovulated today. Only a few weeks until I find out if this is our cycle. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
TOMORROW is my last day at work! I made some really yummy bars today to bring on my last day. Sort of like "See what you're missing, biitches!" (I don't know if the blogs are censored like the boards) I was suppose to have my exit interview on Friday before I left, but the partner who I was suppose to have the interview with never showed. I sent him an email before leaving that said, "I guess we'll have to do it on Monday." Trust me guys, this is just par for the course at this place. I am really really excited to start my new job too, although I wish I had more than one day off in between, but oh well.
I'll be sure to keep you updated!
Posted Monday, September 01, 2008 11:04 AM
For the first time in about a year, I feel like I have a lot to look forward to. I can't believe how depressed I was becoming. I am almost certain that it was because of my job because as soon as I put in my notice, it almost instantly went away. DH even commented on how much happier I've seemed lately. This feeling is wonderful!
I know that stress is not good for TTC, so I'm hoping now that my stress has dissipated, it will be easier. This is our third cycle and the third time's the charm, right? I don't know why, but I feel very optimistic about this cycle. I may just be setting myself up for disappointment, but I can't help but think we may finally see two pink lines this time.
I was thinking about it the other day, and it's not as easy to get pregnant as I was led to believe in high school. I had to laugh at that thought.
Posted Friday, August 29, 2008 11:25 PM
I know a ton of people who are pregnant. I am happy for them, really, but sometimes it's so hard. I don't go a day without thinking "How come she gets to be pregnant and I don't?" Especially when they weren't trying, which most of them weren't. My SIL and my mom are the only ones who know we're trying. I was talking on the phone with SIL a few weeks ago. She is a nurse and I was telling her my irrational fear that we won't be able to get pregnant (it's irrational at this point because we've only been really trying for three months), to which she replied. "We just decided to stop using protection and when it happens it happens. But I got pregnant the first month we stopped preventing." WTH! Why would you say that to someone who was just telling you how afraid she is of not being able to get pregnant? That's not making me feel any better! I've been temping and charting and recording my CM and I get NOTHING!
I know that God has a plan and He'll let us get pregnant when the time is right, but I sure hope the time will be right this month!
Tomorrow is CD 10, so I could be ovulating any day now! I ordered some OPKs online last week, I sure hope they come before it's too late!
Oh, and speaking of irrational fears, I'm SO afraid to have my exit interview at work next week! The partners have always intimidated me, and I'm sure this won't be any different.
In other news, we picked up our new bed today! We got a headboard/footboard/frame. It looks great, but now our bedroom looks really cluttered with furniture. Our house is very much a fixer upper, and we're sort of in the process of remodeling the master bedroom, so we're scrunched in what will be the baby's room. It makes me want to use the long weekend to work on the master bedroom. But I also really need to pull a bunch of weeds in our yard. We had a giant evergreen tree removed earlier this summer, and now that the sunlight can get to the ground where the tree used to be, a bunch of weeds are growing. I want to pull them before we till that section of the yard and plant grass. The in-laws are coming next week to help with some of the work on the house and they're bringing their tiller, so I need to get that done before next week. So much work to do! It should keep me busy! So if I don't update my blog for a few days, you know what I'm doing! Baby dancing, remodeling, and pulling weeds - now thats a weekend.