the ring and screw other people's doubts
Posted
Saturday, August 04, 2007 6:17 AM
um so you guys want to see the ring? He sent me pictures!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rebellemichelle/996972336/
I love it so much! It's beautiful. I feel super bad that he got me
diamonds because I had made a big scene about it and then after I told
him I didn't care and he could get me whatever he thought I would like.
He said he knew I would only be happy with diamonds and he didn't want
anyone to give me 
that he wasn't a good man and wouldn't be able to provide for me. 
I honestly stopped caring if it was diamonds because I knew how hard he
was trying to get me something that he knew would make me happy. AT
this point it could have been silver band. I love him so much and I
know how much thought he put into this. It makes me so sad that some
refuse to get it or believe in me.
I was so happy! and I of course had to be a jerk and ruin it with all
these questions. My friend grilled me hardcore about the relationship
and after saying over and over again that he supported me basically
told me that anyone who proposes so quickly is most likley crazy and
since he's in the army most likely has serious problems... It made me
cry. I asked Texas a bunch of questions and he just got really quiet
and sad. It sucked...I really need to be less focused on other people's
opinion. I just dont see any evidence of serious problems. I met his
friends they were all great, they all knew tons about me, I have talked
to him for hours and hours. The only thing that concern me is that I do
know for sure he has PTS but that's why he doesn't drink because that's
one of the things that really seems to trigger it. I know that can be a
serious disorder though and I have read up on it and I know the
military does have a support system. Plus I will be with other military
wives and what not.
I don't think that things will be perfect. I am not using this as an
escape. I am willing to work through the problems as I have already
done. I love him. I know that nothing is for sure and if this doesn't
work out it will not destroy me. I have questioned him, and re
questioned him. I have questioned his friends, I have asked them point
blank questions about him, I know it seems crazy and i know at times I
have been unsure, but I feel sure. I feel ready. Things with me have
changed a lot in the last few months, I have made positive changes. He
has never overtaken me doing the things that I like to do in my regular
life. I have still went about my business and met people, and drank and
danced and loved and laughed. I feel like I have and am going into this
with my eyes open.
I am sick of defending myself and I am sick of people thinking that I am
weak and need them all to hold my hand. Because i don't. I am strong
and confident and sure of myself. I love myself and am in love with
someone who has done nothing but good things for me and helped me grow
and become a stronger person. When I first met him I didn't expect to
fall in love but I have, and I am happy for once not because I need
someone or can't stand to be alone, but because I don't need anyone and
I can stand to be alone.