The Nest

Friday, October 12, 2007 9:56 AM

Is it rude to not go to a gathering of my spouse's family?

You don’t have to attend every family gathering, but you shouldn’t miss two or three in a row, and you definitely shouldn’t miss important functions, like Thanksgiving, just because it’s being held at your obnoxious SIL’s home who your mother-in-law dotes on while they both ignore you. Not like we’re speaking from experience or anything.

The point of going to these things is to support your spouse, even if he is so much more comfortable with his family than you are. Plus, the more you ostracize yourself, the more they will make you feel like an outsider when you do show up. So bite the bullet and go, especially if these gatherings don’t happen very often. But if your husband is hanging out with his family every weekend and you’re just not on board, then you need to have a talk. It should start with, “I love your family but I think it’s just as important for the two of us to have our own quality time…” Then compromise on how many visits are planned.