Thursday, September 11, 2008 12:25 PM
If the wedding is really that soon, what’s there to ask? The bottom line: You weren’t invited. And to say something about it would not only be bad form, it would make you look bitter and petty as well.
Remember, when it comes to figuring out a guest list, the budget often dictates who makes the cut. Maybe she’s planned a small family wedding (not exactly the place for old college friends to hang out) and couldn’t splurge beyond that. Or perhaps her fiancé has a ginormous family that gobbled up the invites. In short, it’s almost certainly not about you. Hopefully that helps take the sting out of the snub.
Filed under: Friends
Posted by Nest Caitlin
Thursday, September 11, 2008 12:24 PM
The solution here is simple: Don’t hang out with her. Coordinating the chaotic schedules of four people who want to get together is almost next to impossible, so it won’t arouse any suspicion should you suddenly become unavailable.
Meanwhile, your husband can continue to enjoy guys’ nights out as always. Just ixnay the group plans. Whatever you do, avoid saying anything disparaging about her—you’ll alienate your friend and embarrass yourself. Besides, if he’s really so great and she’s so not, it probably isn’t a forever thing.
Filed under: Friends
Posted by Nest Caitlin
Thursday, September 11, 2008 12:21 PM
Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase, “It takes two to tango”? Well, in this case, it takes four. Believe it or not, you and your husband are partly to blame for the catty dynamic. Yes, really. You may be convinced that you don’t egg them on, but by dropping hints about the trips you’re taking or the things you’re buying, you’re subtly inviting them to one-up you. Plus, the fact that you even care shows that you’re competitive too.
The solution? You can take yourselves out of the game. Next time you see the Toppers, let them prattle on about their über-fabulous lives without breathing a single word about your own. By diffusing the situation, you may find that they no longer get under your skin. But, if they keep trying to lure you into competitive chitchat, pull the plug permanently. Life is far too short for frenemies.
Filed under: Friends
Posted by Nest Caitlin
Thursday, September 11, 2008 12:20 PM
As you already know, this is a tricky one. Say something to your friend, and she’s sure to shoot the messenger. Don’t, and you’ll worry that you’re aiding and abetting a slimeball. Your best bet is (sorry, this isn’t easy) being swift and direct. Approach your friend’s husband discretely. Be firm—tell him that his comments are unacceptable and if it happens again, you’ll speak to his wife. The end. What happens in their marriage is none of your business, so don’t meddle. Just be there to support her if she asks for it.
Filed under: Friends
Posted by Nest Caitlin
Wednesday, May 16, 2007 6:12 PM
A: This is something you and your mate should sit down and discuss. There’s no right or wrong answer – it’s just a matter of what would be best in your particular situation. Announcing that you’re TTC may open the door to your sex life that you both would prefer remain closed. (Also think about whether or not you’re ready to talk ovulation with your MIL.) On the other hand, deciding to share the good news could mean that you receive a lot of love and support, which may help ease any lingering jitters. Make a list of the pros and cons of telling people you’re trying to have a baby. Then look over both lists and decide what’s right for you.
Filed under: Baby
Posted by The Nest Editors
Wednesday, May 16, 2007 6:11 PM
A: We admit, your friendships with the singles in your life may change after the wedding, but that doesn’t mean they have to disappear. (Hello, you’ve only tied the knot, not had a lobotomy.) We’ve found that the best way to maintain relationships with your non-married friends is to setup a time to hang out with them regularly – Thursday night cocktails, Sunday afternoon brunch – and don’t go overboard with the married life talk. Chat about the things you have in common that haven’t changed since the wedding.
Filed under: Friends
Posted by The Nest Editors
Wednesday, May 16, 2007 6:07 PM
A: Just because the wedding is over doesn’t mean you have to stop dancing. Take up something sensual – like the tango – for an excuse to get extra close to your sweetie and no pressure to perform it in front of a crowd. Here are some other fun activities to try:
∙ Cooking classes
∙ Wine tasting sessions
∙ Couples massages (or other spa treatments)
∙ Volunteer together (such as Habitat for Humanity)
∙ Explore your area
Wednesday, May 16, 2007 4:30 PM
A: You bet your book club it is. Time apart from each other is vitally important in a relationship. Why? It allows each person to grow as an individual, to develop new interests, and to be an 'I' as well as part of a 'we.' The newness that each of you brings back into the relationship from your time apart fuels your energy as a duo.