love/sex

about this blog

The place for savvy marrieds to dish out tried-and-true sex advice.

topics on this blog

Tuesday, May 08, 2007 4:33 PM

Q. Faking orgasms?

Q. I am a 30 year old female and I'm only able to orgasm a specific way when I masturbate (on my stomach with a pillow). I've been faking orgasms with my fiancé for 4 years now and I can't tell him the truth. What else can I do?

A. It's time to stop faking.

Some women find it impossible to confess that they've been faking and instead use the following tactic. If you can't face him honestly with this then tell him you've "been a bit stressed recently and are finding it hard to get aroused," And then see if he's up for trying a new form of stimulation.

It's important in a committed relationship that you can bring up issues like this. This tactic is a halfway house that can start real communication. Then guide him into recreating the stimulation you get through masturbation. Many women feel exactly as you do and only get stimulation through using something like a pillow. You can make guiding him part of a fantasy role play where, e.g., you pretend to be the "patient" and he's the "doctor" and you guide him in his examination. Take it slowly and hopefully you can recreate those sensations with him. Also, there are various vibrators with a "flattened" shape that gives great stimulation to women who like the sensations you do.

>> Have a question for Dr. Pam? Email her at: drpam@thenest.com

Dr. Pam is the author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure

 

Posted by The Nest Editors
Filed under:

Comments

re: Q. Faking orgasms?

Have you read "She comes first" and "He comes next"?  Two fabulous books!!!!!!  They also provide great fodder for some grown up, adult conversations.

Posted by KTsmilez    Thursday, December 06, 2007 1:21 PM


re: Q. Faking orgasms?

YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE HONEST WITH YOUR PARTNER. IF YOU'RE  NOT YOU'RE ALREADY ON THE ROAD TO DIVORCE. I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM TILL I TOLD MY HUSBAND, WE HAD NOT BEEN TOGETHER VERY LONG. HE WAS MORE THAN WILLING TO EXPLORE WHAT WORKS. TRY DIFFERENT POSITIONS AND USE CLITORAL STIMULATION. IT DOES MAGIC! DON'T BE EMBARESSED TO GO IN ADULT STORES. IF MOST PEOPLE WERE, THEY WOULDN'T BE IN BUISNESS. ALSO GO TO LIBERATOR.COM. THEY SELL "BEDROOM ADVENTURE GEAR". HOPE THIS HELPS YOU LADIES.

Posted by mommymeg6    Friday, December 07, 2007 12:50 PM


re: Q. Faking orgasms?

Thats silly. I dont think faking orgasms will lead to divorce. Sometimes im just not in the mood but my husband is. I dont like turning him away so I will have sex with him but he likes me to orgasm before he does.. so i fake it or else it will never end!! lol  If he knew i was faking i think hed be SOOO bummed out! I would never tell him.  I guess though my sistuation is different b/c when im in the mood it's not really an issue.

Posted by Miley28    Monday, January 14, 2008 10:03 AM


re: Q. Faking orgasms?

I dont know why people keep things like that from each other if you're in a relatonship. I never orgasm and my man knows that. I dont hide it from him and he doesn't blame himself. Its best to be open and honest about everything. He and I are in our late teens and we even got this worked out.

Posted by mrs.kaseyneil_    Wednesday, February 06, 2008 3:46 PM


Anonymous comments are disabled