Tuesday, May 08, 2007 12:10 PM
Q. Supposed to hurt?
Q. Is there any way, besides having children, to stretch out your vagina? Whenever my husband and I have sex, it always takes so long for him to penetrate me. It's like my first time every time -- and not in a good way. Can I fix this? I would really appreciate your help.
A. Many women mistakenly wish they had your problem. They think they're too loose and wish they were tighter. Unfortunately, you're experiencing something that quite a few women do, and they often feel unable -- or too embarrassed -- to speak about with their partner.
First, it's important to consider whether this is related to nerves and anxiety or an actual physical tightness. Many women when feeling anxious about sex tighten up their vaginal muscles. Once you learn how to relax, trust your husband, and enjoy sex, your muscles will relax too.
If you feel it may be about anxiety or sexual inhibitions, then you and your husband need to take your lovemaking back to the foreplay stage. Introduce some deep breathing and muscle relaxation as you two simply caress each other and build trust slowly. Don’t rush to penetrative sex -- you can always give him manual or oral stimulation to bring him to orgasm and vice versa.
If you still believe it's a physical issue, then it's best to consult your doctor. We are all constructed differently. In your case, it might mean you're slightly smaller than the average woman or have tighter muscles.
>> Have a question for Dr. Pam? Email her at: drpam@thenest.com
Dr. Pam is the author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure
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Filed under: Pain