Thursday, October 25, 2007 5:14 PM
Q: TV in the bedroom?
You asked: So the debate is on with my husband and me about having a TV in our bedroom. I say no, since I don’t want to have any distractions when it comes to our intimate life. He says yes so he can watch TV if I fall asleep or get tired and he wants to stay up late. Will having a TV in our bedroom affect intimacy?
A: I can see both sides of your argument. The answer is that having a TV in your bedroom will only affect your intimacy if you let it.
On the whole, I think a wise couple will make their bedroom a comfortable and sensual “love zone" that reflects their relationship. It should be cozy and welcoming. It should be functional but also look good. I say a wise couple will do this because other rooms in the house can contain distractions -- your personal computers, TVs, games consoles, and so on. But a place to retreat together where you can spend some quality time with one another will promote intimacy.
However, consider your husband's side of the argument. If you both agree on making the bedroom a comfortable love zone for your grown-up needs, then with this in mind, he could have a television in a cabinet that he can use on occasion – this is a reasonable compromise. If you both consider this solution to be a good compromise, I don't think it should interrupt your intimacy. If you're falling asleep and he wants to watch something, you could still feel the warmth of his body while he relaxes in bed. He can even get headphones for the television so you don't hear any of the noise.
I see nothing wrong with this setup as long as your solution is seen as a compromise and he doesn't have the TV on every night. Why not suggest this and also look into ways of redecorating or getting accessories to give a new feel to your bedroom? Choosing these things together will make you both feel that your bedroom is your special place.
By compromising on this and deciding on a solution that satisfies you both, you can learn a lot about how to find a middle ground that will put you in good stead for future issues you’ll face in your relationship.
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Dr. Pam is the author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Plea