The Nest

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I am in the same boat on this one! i was on ... are we allowed to say brands here?  i was on yasmin and i didn't even want to be playful - i didn't want my husband to even caress me or hug for too long! that was so out-of-character for me that we instantly knew what to blame. i  switched to worth and at least can be silly and affectionate but am still not interested in sex... we're working on it and will try to find a different brand but my dr swears that the low-dose i'm currently on is the best bet :(  good luck to all of you out there just like me - and do what dr pam suggests, be SURE to explain to your sweetie what is causing this because my husband is totally on my team with this and just as supportive and patient as can be.

Posted by Brad-Steph    Thursday, October 25, 2007 7:44 AM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

It affected me as well. I was on two different kinds from the age of 18-24. I just got off of it after we got married. We are not trying for a baby, but if it happens we are ok. My experience with the pill started out fine for the first four years, then I began to feel just felt terrible on them, I was sick with migraines and breast pain constantly. And my sex drive was non existant. Now, after two months off, I get turned on quicker and everything just works better now, plus I am pain free! (except for my normal cramps and pms) I am also just a happier person off of the hormones. I don't think Ill go back.

Posted by CaitlinJ22    Monday, December 10, 2007 2:32 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

The same thing happend to me while on Yasmin. I happen to know alot about birth control becuase I worked for a Gyno for 3 years. So I stopped taking yasmin and switched to Loestrin24 which contains a lower dose of hormones, but the lower doseage ones tend to cause breakthru bleeding (aka 2 periods a month) so now i'm not taking any while still searching for one that fits me. It's very tricky with birth control, cause every woman is different and so is every pill, so you really just have to try a few of them out there till you find one that fits you.

Posted by Tikvahc    Monday, December 17, 2007 4:46 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

Wow!  It's such a relif to read these comments!  I thought it was just the stress of planning the wedding, which is probably part of it.  But now that it's all over, I really want to enjoy the Honeymoon and being married and all the fun that goes with it.  I love Yasmin because it really takes care of breakouts on my face, but I guess I'll be checking with my doctor on what my other options are.... because we are definitely NOT ready for baby!!  :)

Posted by seralyzee    Monday, December 31, 2007 9:23 AM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I quit the pill for the lack of sex drive.  I also changed from Loestrin 24 because of the breakthrough bleeding mentioned earlier. I opted for the Ring and LOVE IT! And not remembering to take that little pill every morning makes things easier too!

Posted by LMDukes    Monday, December 31, 2007 3:16 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I have never used any birth control and don't plan on it.  My husband and I attended classes in Natural Family Planning (ccli.org) during our engagement and we have been very happy with it.  It was important to both of us that we use something that did not require putting unnatural drugs into my system (plus we wanted to adhere to the teachings of the Catholic Church).  The pill has so many side effects, many of which are not explained well enough to women, that I will never consider using it.  If you are having difficulties finding a method of family planning, I recommend NFP (there are several methods besides CCLI).  I know almost exactly when I'm ovulating and I can pinpoint my period to within a day or two, plus my husband is involved and he understands my body better and appreciates my fertility.  It also  means that we have to communicate about my fertility, and communication is never a bad thing in marriage.

Posted by Kasclar    Thursday, January 03, 2008 7:30 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I have been on birth control (2 kinds) for about four years consistently and both brands essentially killed my libido. I read online that birth control doesn't cause loss of sex drive or weight gain etc and that these were just myths. I wondered for a long time what was wrong with me and why I didn't have any interest in sex. I didn't want to be cliche of married life with no sex. Anyway, finally I realized that I had a sex drive before the pill and that surely the pill was to blame. So, I went off it. Now, my husband and I are still virtually having no sex because at this point I'm not sure what a viable option is for preventing pregnancy (I'm not ready for children quite yet). I hate condoms (there's no feeling, what's the point?), spermicides like the film or gel cause numbness for my husband, I won't go on birth control again because of the hormones - what else is there? My friends have had problems with IUDs - I thought about depo but I'm not sure that's any better than the pill. I've got an appointment with my doctor to discuss my options because this whole no sex thing isn't working out. :)

Maybe I'll check out the ring like somebody else mentioned?

Anyway, good to see that someone brought up the question of the pill and lack of sex drive to Dr. Pam - it's always nice to know you're not alone!  

Posted by Orchid86    Friday, January 04, 2008 10:02 AM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

The NuvaRing is fabulous!  It makes birth control so much easier and it hasn't affected me or anyone else I know who uses it negatively in any way.  I would definitely recommend it!

Posted by Chiperelli    Friday, January 04, 2008 6:22 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

ABSOLUTELY!  I was on hormonal birth control for 9 years (Ortho Tricyclen for years then Nuvaring), and lost all sex drive over time.  Talked to many doctors about this, and all said the same thing...hormones can affect your sex drive.  I finally went to a specialist and she told me that hormonal birth control lowers testosterone, and therefore lowers libido.  I had my testosterone measured, and it was so low it couldn't even be measured!  (They should tell you this when you start hormonal birth control).  

My hubby was leery about my going off the HBC, but we discussed it and he realized that it was not healthy for me to continue.  We are now doing FAM and using various kinds of non-hormonal BC and are very happy with our decision to go hormone free.  

Just to let you know, I did take testosterone supplement for 6 mo to increase my level to normal after I went off of HBC.  I have seen a significant change in my sex drive after being off of HBC and taking testosterone for 6 mo.  I quit the testosterone this month and am letting my body recuperate and do its thing free of hormones.

My advice, if you are on hormonal BC, GET A BLOOD TEST and see if it is affecting your body negatively.  I wish I had done that years ago, but the doctors don't mention it.

Posted by Taksirhc    Sunday, January 06, 2008 6:59 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

P.S.  Nuvaring was what finally killed my sex drive, but I believe it was the long term of affect of the hormones and not just a particular brand of hormonal BC.

Posted by Taksirhc    Sunday, January 06, 2008 7:01 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

so i do have a question - i may even send it to dr. pam....   if you stay on the pill despite the change in sex drive, what can you do to bring the spice back?  i tried a handful of different pills and am currently ont he one with the least side-effects... the 1st one i tried was absoultely terrible - no drive, chest pains, and unexpected anxiety! the second made me verrry emotional and still a little anxiety. so i'm on one where the only side effect is the decreased sex drive. i'm glad to be rid of the funky emotions and am too scared to try something new.... i was wondering if there was something to try while staying on this pill.... thanks, in advance for any pointers!

Posted by Brad-Steph    Friday, January 11, 2008 9:09 AM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I too am going through this problem. I got on birth control at the age of 15 because my mother and doctor told me that it would help with the terrible menstrual cramps I get. They're so bad I have to call in to work or skip school and just lie in bed or a hot bath all day. So I got on these pills (Ortho Cyclen) and it helped with my irregularity and the cramps and acne. I thought it was great. When I became sexually active with my now fiancé on our 1 year anniversary (only man I've ever been with), things were fine at first. There was the whole "getting to know your body like I know my own" stage where we were always so ready for each other we were being intimate daily...and sometimes multiple times a day! =D

After a while though (about 1 year) I realized I seemed to be less interested in having sex and only if he would perform oral sex would I get turned on enough to want to have intercourse. I thought maybe I was losing interest in him and becoming less attracted to him. This really upset me as I loved him deeply by this time and didn't want things to change. So I pretended like nothing was wrong and would make love to him even if I wasn't in the mood. I found this to be painful however as my body wasn't responding and making the natural lubricant I needed.

When I finally came clean about not being interested 95% of the time, he encouraged me to see my doctor. I told my doctor and asked him if there was something wrong with me. He told me that birth control pills sometimes will affect a woman's sex drive and that if that was the case, we could try a different brand / dosage. I've been on 8 types of birth control since then (to include the depo shot) and all with the same results. I have no interest in sex.....unless...oddly enough..... I'm on my period week, in which case it's just like back when we first starting sleeping together. I'm turned on all the time, and everytime he climbs into bed with me for the night and puts his arms around me, it makes me want to jump him right there.

I'm still searching for a method of birth control (in addition to the condoms we use every time) that will give me my sex drive back. Until, of course, the Spring of 2010 when we get married. Then I won't have to worry about birth control and condoms because we'll be ready to start our family.

A couple people have mentioned this NuvaRing, so I will definately have to look that up and see if it could be right for me.

Posted by Moonshadows    Tuesday, January 15, 2008 11:30 AM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I too am having this problem. Does anyone have any good experienced birth controls? I am on Yasmin now and only have a sex desire on my "off week." I have told my husband what I think the problem is and he understands but is encouraging me to find something new because we so badly do NOT want kids right now.

Posted by leo4nps721    Friday, January 18, 2008 2:00 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

The fact that only one commenter mentioned a form of NFP is a sign of the sad state of medicine today when it comes to a woman's body. Doctors are more inclined to throw drugs at you as a quick fix, rather than investigate what is causing problems. They don't tell you that hormonal birth control can DAMAGE your reproductive system, perhaps even preventing you from conceiving when you want to. My husband and I chose the Creighton Model of natural family planning (www.creightonmodel.com), and many of our friends have also been using it for years. With a natural method, you learn how your body works and you can identify when you are ovulating. So depending on whether you want to conceive or avoid a pregnancy, you know exactly when to have sex. It's also easier to identify problems and treat the cause, rather than just the symptoms. For example, PMS symptoms like breast tenderness, headaches, irritability, etc. are often caused by a hormonal imbalance - low progesterone. This same hormonal imbalance could result in devastating miscarriages when you DO want to have a baby. But you can go on natural progresterone support therapy, which corrects the hormonal imbalance. It not only makes it more likely you'll avoid miscarriage, but it also makes those nasty PMS symptoms go away. And it does it all without loading your body up on synthetic hormones. And obviously, NFP doesn't have any side effects caused by chemical birth control methods, either.

I'd encourage every woman/couple to explore a natural method of family planning, but especially those of you who have already seen how negatively chemical birth control methods can affect you. I'd be happy to talk more about our experience - email me at curfgrad99@yahoo.com if you're interested.

Posted by curfgrad99    Thursday, January 24, 2008 9:55 AM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I was really glad to see someone else knows about NFP!  My husband and I use the Creighton Model http://www.creightonmodel.com/ .  It is great to see exactly how my body works.  We are happy with our decision though being newlyweds it is hard to abstain for several days during the fertility period.  I'm glad I don't have to experience any side affects from taking a pill and I feel more in tune with my body plus my husband understands how my body works too.

Posted by adm195    Thursday, January 24, 2008 11:01 AM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

Question for you: I like all this talk about other options, and I do have issues with birth control and like the idea of the more natural methods. But, right now my husband and I feel most comfortable using the pill even though I dont like the side effects. Someone on the blog recommended using natural progesterone (i've seen it in a cream) but I dont know if that is safe to use while also on the pill. Does it increase my risk of pregnancy or have any unwanted effects if I use the cream and the pill at the same time?

Posted by Faith581    Saturday, January 26, 2008 11:23 AM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I have been on some type of birth control for about 14 years. WOW. I have been seriously thinking of stopping it because my sex drive is down and I am so emotional all the time. My body could probably do with a little break from extra hormones - I probably wont know what to do. It is so nice to read about others who have this issue because I thought it was just me!! I have been on Yasmin for the past year and although it is low hormone I dont feel that way!!!

Posted by just_mrs_lewis    Sunday, January 27, 2008 10:27 AM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I, too, have been on birth control now for 12 years and would LOVE to stop taking it. In fact, I did do a hormonal screening a year ago that confirmed that my testosterone level (ie. my sex drive) was normal but "bound up" by the pill. The problem, of course, is crappy alternatives. Who wants to fool with condoms when you're married? What a pain! And the NFP sounds really great but I checked out the website for the creighton model and got lost in the charts. Plus, though it's been years, I do remember before starting the pill that I had irregular periods (only one every three months). Not sure if my body has changed since. I guess there's only one way to find out but a baby right now would really not be the best. What to do...

Posted by Coffey    Sunday, January 27, 2008 2:16 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I am really pleased to hear several of you mention that NFP is working well for you.  I've wondered about it for a while, but never was sure I was up to the task of monitoring my cycle so carefully.  I'll have to check it out, as I have a copper IUD which was inserted 7 months ago now.  It has been years since I used a hormonal birth control, because of concerns over effects of long-term use and the simple fact that once I went off of them, my body naturally found a good rhythm all by itself.  The copper IUD was a good choice for me (my doctor recommended it strongly even though I haven't had any children yet) as it has no hormones, and the copper reacts with your body's chemistry in a way which prevents the sperm from reaching eggs, so no fertilization is likely to occur.  Since I do believe that life begins at conception, it was important to me that no fertilization occur.  There was a study in Australia of women with copper IUD showing strong results that eggs were not fertilized at all.  The only downside is that I've experienced continuing "spotting" - very small amounts of blood - at different times during the month, somewhat stronger cramping than before and currently have one medium sized cyst on my ovary which may be related to the IUD.  I'm thinking of giving the IUD six more months to see if the spotting, cramping and cyst clear up and then re-evaluating my options.  The side-effects have been manageable, and my husband and I can have as much fun as we like without worry about hormone side effects or a baby.  

Posted by hissweetgirl    Sunday, January 27, 2008 7:05 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

Coffey, I'm sorry you got so confused by the charts when you looked at the Creighton Model web site (www.creightonmodel.com). It can be confusing at first, which is why you work one-on-one with a teacher. You meet every couple weeks when you start. They explain how everything works - how to chart, what all the shorthand means, etc. Once you become more comfortable with the system, you meet a little less often, and so on. Please don't be discouraged!

And Faith581, I mentioned the progesterone support - I am only familiar with progesterone pills taken in the 2nd half of the cycle, when the progesterone hormone should be dominant. I don't know anything about the creme you mentioned, or if it is safe to use in combination with any hormonal birth control. You should probably talk to your prescribing doctor about that possibility, rather than taking the advice of any laypersons here. Even if it's safe for some people to combine them, it may not be for you since everyone is different. Also, the natural progresterone support therapy is used in conjunction with Natural Family Planning methods to help treat a hormonal imbalance - low progesterone - which can cause miscarriages. The PMS symptoms are additional side effects which would naturally decrease as the progesterone levels get back to where they're supposed to be. The birth control pill is intentionally altering your hormone levels, so using a progresterone supplement may not be enough to counteract the effects the hormonal birth control has on your body. Worse - it may aggravate problems. Again, you should talk to your doctor.

Posted by curfgrad99    Monday, January 28, 2008 3:24 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I had no idea this was a problem. I've been on 3 or 4 different brands of birth control pills (due to changes in insurance) and depo shots and have never had a decrease in my libido. I feel so blessed! I think if it did cause this problem, I would go with charting my ovulation and try to avoid sex during that time to avoid getting pregnant. Money and sex are the source of the most problems in marriages (so I hear), so I think I'd do whatever I could to keep the fire alive in the bedroom. Good luck everyone!

Posted by mstrillian    Thursday, January 31, 2008 8:09 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I am so glad to read this posting. I had the same experiencing after being on hormonal contraceptives (an assortment of pills and the nuva-ring) for roughly seven years. I got to the point where I no longer wanted sex, ever... and therefore, what was the point of being on the pill? I'm allergic to latex and nonxyl 9, but am in no way ready for babies yet,  so my hubby and I switched to polyurethane condoms. Its been over a year off of the pill, and we have never had an issue with the condoms, and my sex drive is back to normal.

Posted by jen+micah4ever    Friday, February 01, 2008 5:58 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

It all depends on the person really. I know certain kinds that have made me to the point that it was like i never got enough and others that made me so moody i didn't want it at all. I didn't stay on those long!! I've been on 4 major kinds in 7 years. Its a matter of finding what good for you. I also fight with endometriosis so like i said it all depends on the person.

Posted by hiseverything    Wednesday, February 27, 2008 3:00 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I am so glad to hear that I am not the only one out there!!! I am on the Nuva-Ring right now and was on the patch prior.

I talked to my doctor about my little problem and she told me it was a side affect of birth control and there was nothing you could really do...besides try really hard to want to have sex!

That just made me really discouraged! How can you try to want it if you have little or no sex drive.

Anyway, I have heard about the NFP but don't know much about it. It scares me! We are totally NOT ready for kids any time soon!

Posted by Jewelgirl82    Saturday, March 01, 2008 12:28 AM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

Hi.  Well I hope I am not too late to add to this posting.. Let me start with a little background and pray someone has an answer for me.  In 2005 I got pregnant unexpectedly by someone I was in a brief relationship with (5 months)...in my first few months of being pregnant I met my NOW HUSBAND, who was aware I became pregnant 1 month prior to meeting him.  He wanted to be the knight and shinning armor and he was, he stayed with me through the whole pregnancy and was at the hospital when I gave birth....I had a beautiful healthy baby and the biological father still was not around but I did indeed file for child support and continue to get it every month.   When my son was almost age one, my current husband proposed to me............................BUT here is the down side, Since giving birth I have had NO interest in sex with my boyfriend who became my fiance and then became my husband!!! I have went to the dr TWICE and 1st one said get of birth control so I did for 3 month- nothing changed/still no interest in sex.  Went to different Dr. two months after getting married, she said there is no proof that birth control effects sex drive and that I should try to find alone time with my husband (remember we have a two yr old now) He is a wonderful father to my son and an amazing husband but I just dont' want sex with him and I don't know what to do. the doctor continued me on  Yasmin but I just wonder geeze am I not with the right man?????? or is birth control ruining my sex life with my husband????????? any advice??

Posted by Mattsprincess2    Monday, March 03, 2008 2:00 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

Mattsprincess2 : I read what you've been going through, and i just wanted to give you my input. . Your body can take even a year to adjust to getting back to it's natural hormones. I see that you got off of birth control for 3 months and your desire for sex continued to be decreased, however I think you would benefit from staying off of it for longer. Try going off of it for 8 months to year. If you have sex during that time, just use other methods of birth control. Yasmin seems to be one of the most affecting pills, so I would definitely try something new. Give it 8 months. . see if your body can adjust and you can increase your drive again. Also try spicing it up by getting a hotel room to change the scenery, or light candles and play music. . just anything out of the ordinary routine you and your husband have. If you love your husband and feel that he is "the one," then take these things into consideration as it will be worth it. Good luck to you and all of the others going through this!

Posted by xaleahx    Saturday, March 08, 2008 7:45 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

It is really interesting that so many of you complained of side affects on yasmin. I just got off of BC completely when after changing to that one I put on over 40 lbs. in less than six months. I was only on the pill for a year and tried two different ones. THe first one I tried was the loestrin, but I too had problems with breakthrough bleeding. I have been off the pill for two months and am very unhappy. I am sick of condoms, but I don't trust any timing methods because I have known too many people who have gotten pregnant doing that and we CAN'T have a baby now. I am only nineteen and we have been married for eight months so a baby is at least five years in the future for us. I just really want to be a healthy weight, but I'm sick of condoms and my periods have been terrible the last two months. I had forgotten how very bad cramps can be. I think that we'll just have to deal with condoms for a while.

Posted by Mrs.Kirkland07    Tuesday, March 11, 2008 9:20 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

Don't believe that the Nuvaring is the answer to all your problems. It's not for everyone. I tried the nuvaring, cause all my  newly married friends were going on about how wonderful it was. I started it about 3 months before my hubby and I got married. Not only did it mess with my sex drive, but it also completely shut off my natural lubrication. I think i stayed on the ring about a week longer, then I switched to loestrin24 for one month, then because of no insurance, i had to switch to the generic, but it was basically the same thing. Aside for a bit of breakthrough bleeding (which I had with the ring anyways) my sex drive is up, and my husband is happy that we don't have to use that goopy artificial lube any more. I'm a nurse and all my coworkers agreed that's probably the cause of it.

Posted by xsugarbabeRNx    Thursday, April 03, 2008 8:02 AM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

Wow, it is so refreshing to hear that I am not alone in this struggle!  I quit taking Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo the about 3 months ago because my sex drive was completely gone.  I had been having problems for months, blaming myself and thinking something was wrong with me.  Finally, I did a search on the internet about sex drive and the whole birth control thing popped up.  I was hoping that just stopping the pills would fix my problem, but so far my sex drive hasn't come back yet.  I can't explain it, but I just feel different than I used to.  I love my husband every bit as much as before (MORE, actually), but I get annoyed when he even strokes me or tries to cuddle.  And at this point he has given up on initiating sex.  It is extremely frustrating for him and even more so for me.  I have so much anger toward my gyno for not warning me about this.  I feel like something very precious has been stolen from me.  Right now I am not using any method of birth control, but it doesn't really matter because we never have sex anyway.  After reading some of the comments here, I have decided to go see my doctor and have my testosterone tested.  Has anyone else tried this?

Posted by rhetta09    Wednesday, April 09, 2008 6:22 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I too would like to be off the hormones. No one has mentioned a diaphragm. This doesn't seem to be as effective... it says 85% online, but I've never used one. Anyone have any experience with this?

Posted by PhotogBrideToBe    Friday, April 11, 2008 6:56 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I can't tell you how relieved I am to see I'm not the only one with this problem.  I have been on Bc since 1999 first with Depo Provera (no one should ever use DP it's terrible) then Aleese now for the past 1.5 yrs.  Both have killed my sex drive and it has become a huge problem btw me and DH.  I absolutely hate it but don't know what else to do.  I have brought up the problem the past few vistis to the gyn and have been told that it is what it is and deal with it.  I don't know what else to do.  I've been married for 3.5 years and yes there have been the stresses of major events (ie wedding, buying a house, etc..) but even during the normal times there's no sex drive.  I'm afraid to try NFP as I don't know anyone who uses it.  I would love some advice.

Posted by JPF10904    Sunday, April 20, 2008 5:59 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I am glad to see there are others like me.  My dr. did not warn me of this stuff at all.  I too have noticed a horrible lack of sex drive since starting the pill one year ago.  I was on Yaz and just recently stopped taking it.  I was having major problems with lubrication (still am) which made me miserable, and also worried about the side effects and rumors of birth control pills increasing breast cancer chances (although I also heard it decreases the chances, who knows?!) since my mom just got breast cancer last year and I found a lump that turned out to be a cyst a few months ago.    

So I stopped taking the pill and then my husband and I both got tired of condoms and I started again, although I was still worried and stressed about it all.  I have some heart problems and even though my dr told me it was safe to use BC because I am young and do not smoke or anything, but I just don't feel that confident anymore.  I read the warning book on Yaz again and decided to just stop.  

I am interested in figuring out the NFP method but as for the days when you are supposed to abstain, I will have condoms on hand.  I do not believe it is wrong and I am not going to just abstain from sex during that time if my husband and I are wanting to have sex.  

Anyone else do this (NFP and condoms)?  Or can you not do that?  I have not researched it yet much, I read some on it and it looks way confusing.  I know it may sound contradictory, but I think that this is one way to be able to have sex anytime and not be so worried about pregnancy or side effects from BC pills.

Posted by jenfurleigh    Friday, May 02, 2008 9:36 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

You have no idea how relieved I am to see that so many know exactly how I feel. All of your responses have helped me in understanding my options better, too.

I almost immediately started experiencing decreased sex drive after I started taking the pill in March 2007. At that point I had been with my boyfriend for about 2 years. We weren't sexually active since we don't believe in doing that until we're married. I decided to start taking birth control about 6 months before our wedding, which was in August 2007. I was prescribed Aleese, a generic. Before taking birth control, although I wasn't having intercourse, I had a strong drive and had normal, strong hormones that everyone should have. It was hard for us to be good, let's put it that way. But we did it. When I started taking the birth control, within about a month I noticed it became a lot easier for me to be good, if you know what I mean. It got to be about a month before the wedding and I realized I had hardly any drive to speak of. I didn't know if it was just the stress of the wedding and leaving home for the first time that was impacting me so bad. On our wedding night it became clear that something was up. I had never had a problem at all getting excited, and feeling so completely flatline made me almost angry inside. Just him being near me felt unnatural. It was so opposite of everything I had felt before, I couldn't understand what was going on. Our entire honeymoon was the complete opposite of everything I had hoped. We spent the entire time trying to have sex and getting me excited but absolutely NOTHING worked. On top of that, it was excruciatingly painful. About 3 weeks after the wedding, I stopped taking the pill at my doctor's advice. She said use condoms and spermicide instead. We tried to have sex over the next few months with condoms, but every time was so painful, and my drive hardly came back. Finally, I got fed up around April 2008 and went to see a gynecologist. She diagnosed me with Vulvodynia. Basically, the nerves around the opening of the vagina react to pressure as pain instead of pleasure. No one knows the cause of it, but it can make it impossible to have intercourse.

I can't even tell you how frustrating all of this has been. Not only is sex so painful it's impossible, but I'm still struggling with getting my drive back, and 10 months into my marriage, we technically haven't consumated it yet!!! None of this was an issue AT ALL before birth control. I never experienced any kind of pain down there at all, and we had a healthy, intimate relationship. Now, almost 10 months after stopping the pill, my drive is only about 30-40% of what it used to be. Which all things considered, I guess is better than 0%, which is where I once was. I'm extremely afraid that I will never get back to normal. I will never go on hormonal birth control again, because my worst fear with intimacy has been realized for me. I can't participate in physical intimacy, even though I've waited my entire life to do so.

I'm currently using steroid cream for the Vulvodynia (which I'm convinced I never would've had if I hadn't started the pill), with minimal results so far. My doctor doesn't even want to discuss the drive part until this is cleared up. I'm terrified of taking testosterone supplements because of the masculine side effects... but is that the only option? I really don't want to take more artificial hormones to correct the problem, since that's what started all this in the first place. What are the options? Is there any hope at all of complete recovery? I'm praying that SOMEONE out there can help!!!

Posted by viibrant41    Friday, May 30, 2008 10:39 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I am relieved to know other people are having the same problem I am. I have been on the pill since I was 16 and never had problems up until a year ago. In mid- 2006 my gyno decided to change my pills because of my mood swings. Almost immediatly I began to gain a lot of weight and as of now I have gained about 30 pounds which I hate. At the beginning of 2007 my sex drive began to plummit. I thought it was just me trying to protect myself because my boyfriend (now fiance) and I were having relationship problems, but instead of getting better it's gotten worse. We are now engaged and have sex maybe once in a month to two months sometimes longer. I just don't want too most of the time and I have told my doctor time and time again and they just tell me that the weight gain is all me... that's bull because I got seriously ill recently and they took me off the pill and I've done nothing but lose weight and haven't changed my habits, but my sex drive hasn't come back. This is getting to a point where we fight constantly about it, he has even considered that I am sleeping with someone else or that i have lost my attraction to him and none of that is the case I firmly believe it's my birth control, but the doctor won't help me. i seriously scared for my relationship at this point. I just need help and I feel as though there's no one to help...

Posted by lyns8705    Saturday, June 14, 2008 2:26 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I've been on Yasmin since I was 18 and the only problem i've experienced is some dryness but no loss of sex drive. I guess it just varies woman to woman. My concern is if the pill will have any negative effects on my body when I quit and try to conceive. Someone told me that the longer you are on the pill, the harder it is to conceive. They say it takes a long time to go out of your system and therefore takes longer for you to become pregnant. Is this true?

Posted by stader    Thursday, June 19, 2008 11:52 AM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

Viibrant41-

This is sort of off topic, but it was so nice to read that you waited until you were married to have sex! So did my husband and I! I agree with everything you said. It was hard to wait before, but once I got on birth control, my sex drive definitely decreased. Our wedding night and honeymoon were not what we expected. We're ok though, it has taken time and patience and we have gotten closer because of it. I am sorry about the Vulvodynia. Best of luck!

Posted by gr8dancer_27    Friday, June 27, 2008 11:04 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

i was on the nuva ring and it affected my sex drive so bad that i would literally dread having to do it. when we would get going i would be ok but up until then i would literally be ready to vomit i was so not into it. i got off the ring pretty fast after that.

Posted by amandably    Tuesday, July 22, 2008 9:29 AM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I too have had problems, as it seems is the going thing on this blog (lol). Mine hasn't been with drive, though. Just like stader said, I have had dryness. My DH and I tried to wait as long as possible before having sex, which didn't work for us. I wish it had and definately commend all you out there who succeeded. We were each other's firsts, however. I have never had a problem with sexual drive before. I was always "ready", as it were. A few months before our wedding, we both decided that it would be in our best interest to go on BC. We both hated the condoms and wanted to have sex with optimal pleasure. I began on Aleese, which I felt was too low a dosage. I was having extended periods that I hadn't had before. I also started to dry up a little. I changed to Yasmin, which was wonderful for my skin, cramps, and period time, but dried me up to almost nothing. I have all my natural urges but no ability to act because, being dry, it hurts. We are using artificial lub now but it makes me feel funny. Like I'm somehow less of a person because I can't create my own naturally.

I am also terrified of not being able to concieve. My DH seems to feel that it is only a slim chance the pill will have that side effect and I hope so. I also heard it can decrease chances of uterin cancer but ups the chance of breast cancer. I am so afraid to continue and I hate the dryness but my DH doesn't think that the stats are high enough for me to stop. He's okay with the lub, too. To be fair, I haven't really told him how afraid I am or how I feel abou the lub. Is this something I should be concerned about or is he right, I'm just a nervous nelly?

Anyone tried a diaphragm?

Posted by Mrs. Oosterveld    Wednesday, July 23, 2008 12:06 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

viibrant41:  

It could be vaginismus instead.  Vaginismus is where the vagina muscles involuntarily squeeze shut during attempted penetration.  It's easily treatable by systematically using dilators to train the muscles to relax (no medicine/surgery required!).  You might ask your doctor about it.  Good luck!

Posted by music_girl117    Sunday, July 27, 2008 3:09 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I started birth control in August 2007. I saw that some of you also talked about dryness. In addition to that, I have had more burning and itching then ever before. The symptons seemed like a UTI, but after taking antibiotics prescribed by my Gyn the pain got worse. Then, we tried treating it as a yeast infection and things like Monistat did not help either. I have had the symptons about every other week or more since last August. I am so sick of the pill and cannot wait to get off of it. My body never had this problem before birth control. Up until last month, I had not seem anything on how birth control can cause UTI or yeast infection type symptoms. And my gyn didn't believe me either. It has been so frustrating for me, as well as my husband.

I have to wait until I get better insurance because I just graduated. When that happens, I am going to try a more natural method. Like a diaphram with spermicide, etc.

Posted by linamyk    Monday, August 11, 2008 6:08 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I would highly recommend that any woman having issues with hormonal birth control talk to your gyno about IUDs.  I was on the patch and then the ring and my sex drive was zero, not to mention feeling very moody except on my week off.  A friend of mine suggested getting an IUD and I was shocked that my gyno didn't even mention them when I first went on BC 4 years ago.  IUDs are as effective as the pill, and one, called Paragard, is TOTALLY HORMONE-FREE!  I have had the Paragard for about a month and it's been great!!  It can be inserted in one simple office visit, works immediately to prevent pregnancy, and can stay in place for up to 10 years if you want to keep it that long.  I am actually quite surprised that so many of you are having issues with the Pill, but keep taking it anyway, despite the strain it may cause in your relationships.  Please know that there are other options out there that are just as effective at preventing pregnancy without the side effects of hormones.  Good luck!  

Posted by rhondabrown03@hotmail.com    Saturday, August 16, 2008 11:32 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I have been on various pills for years and switched to Nuvaring in March. I lasted five months on that before throwing in the towel and giving my body a couple of months of to "reset." While on the hormones I lost all interest in sex and actually got to the point where I didn't want my DH to even touch me. Some days I didn't want to even talk  to anyone, I was so out of wack.

I have felt so much better in the two months I haven't been on anything that I am dreading starting yet another pill this week. I have my libido back (with avengence), I don't get crazy emotional, and just feel better over all. I really want to try the fertility charting but am a bit worried about its effectiveness and my ability to keep up with everything. I'd like to learn more about it.

Posted by ncmapleleaf    Sunday, October 12, 2008 7:49 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

I'm on the NuvaRing and am liking that; I got on it in May 2008 and it's the first BC I've been on. It's great to only think about it a couple times per month! I have the NuvaTime application on my computer (available at nuvaring.com), so that reminds me whether the ring should be in, out, whatever.

For those of you who weren't sexually active before marriage (we waited, too!), some of your more minor honeymoon issues could definitely be related to the pressure/pain of the first few times. Our first experiences were not great; sexually, our honeymoon was a little lackluster! We had fun, though, and since we've been home things have gotten tons better. Just a thought.  

Posted by bvseyman1    Wednesday, October 22, 2008 10:30 PM

re: Q. Birth control affect sex drive?

Same here i got married in July and i got the injection deprovera 2 weeks before our wedding. I didn't experience loss on interest or loss in sex drive I wanted to be with him it's all i wanted. But for some reason i was dry and it was painful. I think that woman should be aware of all birth control methods. I was never irregular but after taking depo i became irregular and my period was darker. I was really afraid something happened to me. I went to the doctor he said that my system couldn't manage depo and maybe to try nuvaring. But i decided not to.Now i'm off deprovera and have discussed other birth controls with my gyno for now we use condoms. I don't want to take anything yet until i'm sure what i'm putting my body at risk.

Posted by evelyn1006@hotmail.com    Thursday, October 23, 2008 9:22 AM