Friday, June 13, 2008 5:03 PM
My husband cheated on his ex-girlfriend (with me). What are the chances it will happen to me?
Q: I have a great marriage, but I worry every so often. My
husband cheated on his ex-girlfriend (with me). That was five years ago and
he's never strayed, but I still wonder. What are the chances it will happen to
me?
You’re going through what everyone who has a relationship
with a “cheat” goes through: wondering whether he’ll eventually cheat on you.
This is a very normal concern! Nevertheless, you've spent five years with him,
and he's proven that he can be faithful; therefore, it's time you laid your
anxieties to rest.
You have to challenge your fears whenever they pop into your
mind. For example, one day you’re quietly going about your business when
somehow the thought of him cheating crosses your mind. Assuage your fears by
telling yourself, “He hasn’t cheated on me, and it’s been five years, so I have
to stop worrying about this.” Keep repeating that phrase to yourself until your
negative thoughts disappear.
As you become more skilled at challenging these thoughts,
you'll find that they stop coming so frequently. This is a good technique to
use with any worries that are unfounded.