Tuesday, July 08, 2008 9:20 PM
What do you consider kinky?
Q: I used to think a lot of things were kinky, but now I’m not so sure! What do you consider kinky?
1. Multiple people
2. Insertion
3. Food
4. Public or semipublic acts
5. Anything "messy"
6. BJ after him finishing in you
Maybe I can get some good ideas to try out!
It’s not what I consider kinky that counts! Kinkiness is in the eye of the beholder, so what’s kinky to one person may not seem kinky at all to another. You might find your partner has very different ideas about kinkiness than you do. Your list ranges from “kinky-lite,” as I like to call it, to quite “serious” stuff.
Try suggesting something that you think you both would like from your previous sexual experiences together. Simply talking about kinky fantasies can be a huge turn on, so you might want to start that way. It’s best to ease into things gradually rather than diving into uncharted waters headfirst. For example, if you have an interest in bondage, buy some handcuffs instead of immediately pulling out a huge whip the first time you suggest it.
Be prepared to compromise. If your partner asks you to wear bondage gear but you don’t want to dress head-to-toe like a dominatrix, consider buying one piece of sexy bondage clothing rather than the whole outfit.
Adult shops and online sites sell a variety of things to spice up your sex life. Surprise your partner by suggesting something mildly kinky and then set regular (or occasional, if you prefer) “dates” to try out these ideas.