Friday, August 29, 2008 6:22 PM
Any suggestions for positions that are more female-dominant?
Q: My husband is disabled, which makes it difficult to vary our sex routine. His disability affects his arms and legs, so he can’t do any of the typical male-dominant positions or stand up for long periods of time. Doggy style is a favorite of his, but really hard for him to do for a long enough time. Any suggestions for positions that are more female-dominant?
A: First of all, I commend you for trying to work this out. Many people, when faced with a hurdle in the bedroom, simply give up and decide it’s not worth working through. Know that you’re already doing the most important thing by staying connected with him as a lover.
You’ve raised a topic that I rarely have the chance to mention, which is that people get stuck in the idea that once they start a sex position, they have to continue in that same position until they reach orgasm. It is far more interesting -- and in your case makes it far more physically possible -- to vary positions during one sex session.
You might start in one position and then slowly come out of it while you caress each other before moving into another position. Not only is this ideal for anyone with a physical problem who can’t maintain a position for very long, it’s ideal for keeping sex interesting!
It sounds like any of the positions where you’re on top would help. Consider the “reverse missionary” where you lie on top of him with his legs between yours, or sit up in the “cowgirl” position where you’re kneeling above him -- this also gives him great access to your breasts. Or you could try the “spinner” -- where, from the cowgirl position, you turn 180 degrees so you’re sitting astride him but facing his feet. This way he can enjoy touching and caressing your butt during sex.