Friday, August 29, 2008 6:32 PM
Why is my husband different after the birth of our first child?
Q: My husband says that sex seems different after the birth of our first child. Besides bladder control issues, however, I don’t notice a change. What could it be? He’s being vague.
A: You’re experiencing what many men and women do after a baby arrives. Suddenly your husband sees you as the nurturer and caretaker of his precious child, and many men find it hard to see their wives in any other role. Sometimes a bit of jealousy creeps in too, and the man feels that he must play second fiddle to the baby.
Make sure your conversation doesn't completely revolve around your child. Each day you can briefly catch him up on what’s happened with the baby, but then open up the conversation to subjects relevant to both of you.
Don’t forget that you two are still a couple. By emphasizing that to him, you give him the message that although parenthood changes a lot of things, it’s still about you two. Wear clothes that make you feel confident and sexy so he sees you in another role besides that of a mother.
Make a few romantic gestures -- text or email him a sexy message or put a flirty note in his things before he goes to work. You might feel that you’re doing all the work, but just a few small gestures will wake him up to the fact that you’re a multifaceted woman: mother, friend, partner, career woman, and a hot lover!
Also, I recommend talking to your health care provider about your bladder control issues, and be sure to do pelvic floor exercises twice a day.