The Nest

The match game

Posted Tuesday, June 12, 2007 12:53 PM

Do they have to match? Will lightening strike me if they don't? Will the wedding be able to go on?

You would think the "they" in question would be something huge. It isn’t. The "they" are the bridesmaid dresses. I would say 99.9 percent of the world couldn’t care less about this – but a whole bunch of brides who are getting married the same month I am spent a great deal of time debating the pros and cons via a message board. There were the traditionalists: they HAVE to match –- it's wedding law; the nonconformists: not only are they NOT matching -– I've got men standing up for me who will be wearing jeans; and the ones in the middle: here’s a color scheme … have at it ladies. I fall into the latter category.

So I thought I would find out more about bridesmaids (and I’m not talking about the awesome 1980s made-for-TV movie with Shelley Hack and Sela Ward). Wikipedia defines a bridesmaid as: "A girl or young woman who attends to the bride during or after a wedding or marriage ceremony. In early Roman times, bridesmaids formed a kind of bridal infantry as they accompanied the bride to the groom's village. This 'protective shield' of similarly outfitted bridesmaids was supposed to intervene if any wayward thugs or vengeful suitors tried to hurt the bride or steal her dowry. The bridesmaids and ushers dressed in identical clothing to the bride and groom, so that the evil spirits would not know who was getting married."
 
So if this is the case… the bridesmaids should all be wearing the same thing I am. Most girls freakout if someone on the other side of the country they don’t even know has chosen the same dress … let alone several other people at the same ceremony.

What kind of cruel person puts six very different girls in the exact same dress? (If you want to see cruel and unusual punishment, rent "Steal Magnolias" or "My Big Fat Greek Wedding.") This isn’t prison or private school.

If evil spirits want to attack me, let them just try. Forget having to get through my bridesmaids in varying shades of blue … evil doesn’t stand a chance against my mother.