The Nest

"Sunrise, Sunset"

Posted Wednesday, June 13, 2007 2:24 PM

Question: Why can't Jewish weddings happen before sundown on a Saturday?  

Answer: For the same reason you don't call a Xmas tree a Chanukah bush: It's not Jewish.

A Jewish wedding before sundown on a Saturday means it is still the Sabbath. Despite what some people might believe, most Reform rabbis won't officiate at a pre-Shabbat wedding. It's the same reason Jews don't marry on the High Holidays or during the three weeks before Tisha b'Av in the summer or between Passover and Shavuot. There are certain things in Judaism respected across the spectrum.

We're having a Sunday evening wedding at a Reform congregation with two Reform rabbis. It was important to us to find a time and date that wouldn't fall under the "you can't get married today" category.

Some brides say that because most of their guests wouldn't know the difference. In that case, why would a couple worry about having a Jewish wedding -- and all it represents – and have a wedding before Shabbat is over? What is the point of being married with a rabbi when a judge can perform the ceremony?

Yes a summer evening wedding is beautiful. But a summer Saturday wedding will start so late -- this week, sunset is 8:51 p.m. -- you might as well serve breakfast instead of dinner. If you aren't sure what time sunset is on your dream wedding weekend, check out HebCal,

If you have your heart set on a Saturday, winters are perfect – on Jan. 6, sunset was 5:44 p.m. Sure an outside winter wedding in most of the country is a very difficult feat, but not impossible -- just cold. Or have it indoors in a room with lots of windows that allow the stars to shine. Fall is lovely, too – Nov. 4: 5:43 p.m.

So you can't get married Saturday in the summer  -- it is usually cheaper to be married on a Sunday, anyway (some locations and vendors charge more for Saturday night events). Some couples worry that Sunday weddings mean guests will have to leave early or won't be able to come at all. Just remember: The people who want to be at your wedding will come whenever you have it … just not before Shabbat.