The Nest

Being the Mrs.

Posted Tuesday, February 12, 2008 3:31 PM

Last night I was at a temple Sisterhood when a file folder was passed around, and if you owed money for ordering birthday and anniversary cards, you looked up your name and put a check in.

When the envelope reached me, I pulled out my checkbook and searched through the plastic envelope. I couldn’t find my name. At first I thought maybe I didn’t owe any money – but I knew I had sent a tribute. Then it hit me: I bet my envelope moved to a different letter. Sure enough, the one with my name on it was now in the section based on my married name, not my maiden name -- where I had originally been searching for it. My maiden name had been crossed out and the married name put in its place.

Later, when a sign-up sheet to help at the Women’s seder was passed around, I wrote my maiden and married name on it. I figured it was one thing for me to get used to it, it was quite another for my friends to keep seeing it.

I’ve been trying to use my married name more and more, but since I am not legally changing it, I have to check when I sign up for things what name I can use – more often than not, using both names is not a problem (like the "win a Disney Cruise" contest I signed up for this morning).

Thursday night DH and I get to enjoy our first Valentine’s Day as Mr. and Mrs. – which means I get to buy his card from an entirely different section at Hallmark: The “To My Husband” zone.

This weekend I’m attending a Spirituality Day event at the synagogue – it will be the first time my full name will be on a name tag since out October wedding. I’m looking forward to it. Being an old married lady is quite a kick. You seem to achieve this knowledge about life – other married women look at you differently. I’m still me – just with a longer name … and a more squished name tag.