stbmrstownsend's Blog

7 Months and Counting.....

stbmrstownsend — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:19:00 GMT

Man, I haven't blogged in forever!! It seems like an eternity since I got my BFP, and I'm still pregnant!! Since then we have been through morning sickness, finding out what she is, and now I'm 29 weeks and heading into the final stretch.

Pregnancy has not been the easiest time for me. I was sick for the first 20 weeks, and ever since then it seems like it has been one thing after another. I have been through debilitating back pain, and various other ailments that have led me to not enjoy being pregnant.

I thought I would be one of those women that absolutely loved being pregnant, and that has not been the case. The only thing that I love is getting to feel her move around inside me. It always makes me smile when I feel her kick or stretch or whatever she does in there. I am getting to the point now where all I want to do is meet her. I want to see what she looks like, who she looks like, and get to know her and her personality. I really went through disappointment on not enjoying being pregnant. Then I realized that no matter what my expectations were of being pregnant, I will have my beautiful baby girl at the end, and that's all that really matters.

One Week Since BFP.....

stbmrstownsend — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 17:56:00 GMT

So I haven't been keeping up my blog now that I'm finally pregnant. I have just been so busy at work, and so tired, that I don't have the energy to write anything.

Work has been very busy, and a little stressful. I told my boss, and she was so excited, I couldn't believe it. We are pretty close, and so now she's helping me alot. I appreciate all of her advice and her stories of when she was pregnant. She puts a funny spin on it, and she makes me laugh. I've told 2 coworkers, and one was very excited, and the other could have cared less (she is 43, never been married, etc). I'm glad a few select people know, because I don't have to pretend as much.

When I called my mom to tell her, she was less than enthused. She just said "well, how do you know" Umm....I POAS, and it was positive. "well, you haven't been to the dr. yet" Whatever lady! "I don't want to be called grandma" That was her last sentence before we said goodbye. I was in tears after I talked to her. I thought for sure that she would be excited. I talked to her a couple days later, and she seemed better, more excited, but not really. So I've decided to get over it, and DH and I will be excited. My MIL and FIL were super excited when we told them. We gave them a little poem and my MIL got tears in her eyes, which was nice to see. DH's sisters were both pretty excited.

So now we've gotten everyone told that we're going to tell for awhile, so now the next big thing is our first dr's appointment, which is one week from today!! I am very nervous about them drawing blood, because I am terrified of needles! DH is going with me to hold my hand. I am so very thankful!

BFP!!!!!

stbmrstownsend — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 16:21:00 GMT

I can finally write about my BFP experience! I truly didn't think this was our month, but low and behold, it was! It was truly amazing.

Friday we went to my brother's football game, and that was an experience in itself. We got to the game at 6:30 pm (the game was supposed to start at 7), and after we were there for about 5 minutes, they came over the intercom and said there would be a 1 hour delay in the game due to the transformers catching on fire, and there was no lights for the stadium. So my mom, DH, and I go out to get something to eat. On our way back, my dad calls and says the game is moved to a town 20 miles away and it starts at 8:30. So the game starts, and lasts forever! It finally got over at 11:30, and then DH and I drove home, which was a good 3 hours - we finally got home at 3:00 AM. I was so tired. The good thing is that we won!

Saturday DH and I got up at 8 am to get some stuff down around the house. We had to go to town to get supplies for DH's projects, so we ran around town all morning, and went to get an HPT while we were there. We got home, and I figured I might as well take one test just to get the negative over with. I took it, and without any time elapsing, I got a plus sign!!! It was the best feeling in the whole wide world. I ran in to tell DH (so much for a "cute" way to tell him) and we just held each other and DH had tears in his eyes. It was great!

The rest of the weekend I cleaned house and tried to sleep, and DH and I spent alot of time together. I told my mom last night (Monday), and hopefully we will tell DH's parents tonight, and his sisters tomorrow night. I'm tired of keeping it a secret. My first Dr's appt is November 7th, so I will find out alot then. The only symptoms I have are being extremely exhausted and some cramping.

Dreams......

stbmrstownsend — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 13:15:00 GMT

Ok - so late last week, I had a great dream about getting a BFP, and then when I woke up, and tested, I got a BFN. That is the second month that has happened to me. The opposite thing happening. So last night I dreamed that I got AF. I'm hoping again for an opposite, which would be no AF and a BFP! Wishful thinking, I'm sure...But what else can I do? This time of the month is the most stressful, it seems, because I have a "feeling" AF is coming.

AF is now 4 days late and she keeps teasing me with cramps, and tiredness like she's about to appear, but doesn't. Two nights ago, I had a few cramps that woke me up in the middle of the night. Today, I'm just a little uncomfortable with the cramps, but they come in waves. I'm grasping at straws here, but normally I don't have cramps with AF. I'm pushing back testing until Saturday, because I'm terrified to test.

Tomorrow night DH and I are going to my brother's football game, and then Saturday we are going to Oklahoma City to shop, which will be fun, and then Sunday I'm going to clean my house! What an exciting weekend!

Waiting.....Waiting.....More Waiting......

stbmrstownsend — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 18:44:00 GMT

It seems my life has become a series of "waitings." I wait to O, then I wait until AF shows or a BFP (which hasn't happened yet). I waited all summer for my brother's football season, which is over. I waited since the first of the year for my company's new computer system, which is here, and a PITA. I'm waiting for Christmas, because I love it. I'm waiting to start planning my SIL's baby shower. It's just waiting for one thing after another. I want to "live in the moment" and not let my life pass by while I'm "waiting" but it's very hard to do when you are TTC.

This weekend I went home to my parents house in Kansas, and had an awesome weekend with my family. My brother had his final home game *sniff sniff*. He played awesome, but they still lost, which was a bummer. My mom and I went shopping on Saturday, and I got some really nice shirts for work, and some "harvest/halloween" stuff for our house. We had a nice time just having a "girls" day, which we haven't gotten to do in a long time.

Onto the "really" important news. I am 1 day late, and expecting AF anytime. I'm not going to take another test until Friday, due to what happened last month, with AF being 4 days late, and then finally showing. I'm waiting to see what happens the rest of this week!! See....there I go waiting again!!

BFN - After GREAT BFP Dream!

stbmrstownsend — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 13:35:00 GMT

So I caved and tested this morning at 10 DPO, even though I knew it was too early, and I wasn't going to test until AF was late. So much for that, but I had a good reason! :) I woke up at 5:15, looked at the clock, and then rolled over and went back to sleep. I had a dream where I got up, went to the bathroom, took an HPT, and it immediately came back positive!! I ran into DH, woke him up, and told him. We started jumping up and down. It was so vivid, and real, down to the fact I knew it was 10 DPO, I knew DH's exact reaction, and we talked about which dr. to call that day! It was so real and I was so happy. I finally woke up and it was like a train hit me, because I realized it was a dream. I was pretty bummed out, and laid in bed thinking of what I should do. I knew in my heart I would get a BFN, but couldn't resist, due to the dream. Sure enough, after POAS, I got my BFN. I wasn't as bummed as I thought I would be, but every BFN is hard. I know it is still early, but it still doesn't give me any confidence about this month.

I am leaving tonight for my parent's house in Kansas to watch my younger brother's final home football game. I am sad about it, because I can't believe my brother is a senior in high school, and now I'll have nothing to look forward to on Friday nights in the fall. My mom and I are going shopping Saturday, so that will be fun, and then I'm coming back home on Sunday. I know I'll have a great weekend, and hopefully one that takes my mind off of everything that's going on!

The 1WW Torture!

stbmrstownsend — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 15:45:00 GMT

This weekend was very good and relaxing. DH & I did some errand-running on Saturday, and worked outside, and then Sunday, he worked outside, and I did my "wifely" chores. I cooked, cleaned, and did load after load of laundry. Last night, we watched Desperate Housewives, which was a very good episode.

Today I am back at work, trying not to contemplate this next week. I am ready for a week from today! By then, I will know my fate, and either be on to cycle #7, or be preparing for baby!! I really hope this is our month. I know there are other women out there who have been trying alot longer than we have, but I want a baby!!

My SIL is finding out tomorrow whether we are having a niece or a nephew, and I am excited to find out what she is having. I am so happy for her and her DH, and I am ready to meet our new addition to our family. Maybe I will get so busy planning her shower, that it will help me keep my mind off of having a baby (yeah right, but good try!)

I am going home this weekend to Kansas for my brother's final football game at home. I am sad, but excited for him as this is his senior year, and it is an exciting time, especially next year when he heads off to college. He is growing up so fast, and I can't believe he is a senior.

TGIF!!

stbmrstownsend — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 13:16:00 GMT

I'm so glad today is Friday. It has been a very long week at work and I am ready for the weekend - with nothing to do but clean house and RELAX. My past 6 or so weekends has been nothing but go, go, go, and I am ready for one with nothing to do.

I am 3 DPO today, and I know it's too early to feel anything, but I keep overanalyzing myself. "Is that a twinge in my abdomen", "what are those cramps?" "am I hungrier than normal" Alright, I admit it, I'm obsessed!! I'm trying my best to calm down, because there is at least 9 more days of this, and I will drive myself to the looney bin if I don't stop. Writing this blog has helped me tremendously, because it gets all of my feelings out and on "paper".

Grey's Anatomy has become one of my favorite shows - along with Desperate Housewives, of course. And last night was a great episode. DH & I watched it together, which was great because we haven't gotten to spend a whole lot of time together lately, because DH has been extremely busy. I was hoping this weekend we would get to spend some time together, but he is going to be busy working on our barn AGAIN. I understand that he has stuff to do, but sometimes I feel neglected, and it gets hard. I guess that's what marriage is about, being hard sometimes. Anyway, small vent over. I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend, and hopefully not too much analyzing over phantom symptoms.