Wednesday, October 18, 2006 9:18 AM
Should He Stay or Should He Go?
By Amy
I got some bad news on Sunday. My godfather had passed away. Though he and my godmother weren’t my aunt and uncle, and their kids weren’t my cousins, we’d all been close—living in the same town, growing up together, playing on sports teams, acting in plays. Our parents went out as a foursome all of the time...the usual stuff.
The funeral services are on Thursday morning outside of Cleveland, where I’m from. I’m taking the 8-hour drive with my brother on Wednesday night, and spending the weekend in Ohio, but SO can’t make it. Well, he could, but he’d miss a bunch of dinners, meetings and seminars that are capping off a three-month corporate training class in which he’s worked really hard, and he doesn’t know anyone who’s going to be at the service. Given all that, when plans were discussed, I told him he was more than welcome, but that if he needed to stay back, I understand.
Now I’m wondering if I should have told him to come along.
These are the kinds of thing DHs and DWs do no questions asked, but what about SOs? Is it weird that in this case, I don’t mind him staying home? Am I having second thoughts because I really want him to be there, or because I’m worried about what people will think?
The whole thing got me wondering about how many of you have gone to a milestone event—funeral, wedding, birth—without DH. Has he gone to things without you? Did you/he catch any flak? Were the rules different when you were dating as opposed to now that you’re married?