Tuesday, November 14, 2006 10:55 AM
Is This Wrong?
By Jeanine
Okay, so this Sunday one of my old guy friends asked me if I was free for brunch. I told him I’d get back to him (because I’m so busy -- yeah right!), which was really just my way of buying more time to come up with a reasonable excuse to get out of it. It’s not that I don’t like him, it’s just very -- uncomfortable -- between us. It’s one of those situations where two people have always sort of liked each, but the timing was never right -- I’m in a relationship, he’s in a relationship, etc. Well, he’s available, but I’m not and for the past couple of months he’s been coming on kind of strong and I don’t know what to do. After years of back and forth, I really just want to be friends and that’s it, but I think he still wants more. At this point, he knows I’m spoken for, but it seems like because they’ve never met, he doesn’t take my relationship seriously. And yes, the easy solution might be to introduce them, but it’s awkward enough with just the two of us I can’t even imagine what it would be like if all three of us were in a room together. Long story short, to avoid having to have brunch with him I scheduled a dentist appointment for that day. This way I don’t have to lie, but I also don’t have to see him. My girlfriends think I should just tell him to back off and be my friend or nothing at all, which I agree would solve my dilemma, but I’m totally a non-confrontational person and I think it’s actually easier for me to keep coming up with excuses not to be alone with him. So my question is: is it wrong for me to keep putting off hanging out with this guy who I consider my friend rather than just give it to him straight? Has anyone else been in a similar triangle? What did you do?