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Friday, November 17, 2006 9:27 AM

Pregnant Women Are Not Public Property!

By Lori

Why do random people think they can say anything they want to a pregnant lady? I am 29 weeks and very obviously showing. As a result, on my daily commute through NYC I've encountered quite an array of bizarre comments...

A courier riding in the elevator with me sees my bump and opens up about all the fertility problems with him and his girlfriend. I'm not a doctor and don't know much on the topic, so I just smile and nod politely until he comes to his own conclusion that he "probably just needs to do some more pushin' in the cushion."

Someone who works for one of those sponsor-a-child programs that often solicits on NYC streets stopped me and began her sales pitch by asking, "Are you having a boy or a girl? Or is that just a big beer gut?"

I was denied service in a sandwich shop because the guy behind the counter thought I shouldn't be eating certain foods... and then he told me to buy my lunch elsewhere! (This concern can be considered endearing, but when a preg is craving something, you take your life in your hands if you tell her she can't have it.)

There's something about a pregnant belly that makes people think all etiquette can be thrown out the window. I doubt the sponsor-a-child person or the sandwich guy would have said the same thing to an overweight person. So why do strangers think it's OK to say it to a pregnant woman? Have other Nestie moms and moms-to-be encountered similar oddities and if so, how did you handle it?

Posted by The Nest Editors

Comments

re: Pregnant Women Are Not Public Property!

Ugh, my poor friend just had someone come up to her and rub her stomach.  I doubt the person will ever do something so ridiculous again- she screeched at this woman that it's actually battery if someone touches you without your permission.  This was not the first time that this has happened!  I also had a friend who passed away from metastatic ovarian cancer who was asked when she was due (because of all the fluid and masses growing in her body) about 2 weeks after she'd had a full hysterectomy and exploratory abdominal surgery.  

I can't imagine someone feeling that someone else's pregnancy (or lack thereof in my friend's case) is any of their business just because there is some outward sign of it.  I promise, it's not just NYC.  There is something in the mind of idiots that causes them to feel that your uterus is their business (like the bozo at the deli- I would never eat there again once you get past the cravings).

Posted by Prairiedog729    Friday, November 17, 2006 6:26 PM


re: Pregnant Women Are Not Public Property!

I dont feel that is is inapproriate at all.  Dont you like people being friendly to you? All they are in trying to make conversation with you. I think it is very nice and people actually care. I am sure there are inappropriate ones as well.

I agree with Sonja "unless someone says something really awful and totally inappropriate, I think you just have to relax about it" No matter where you are though.

Posted by sept7fallbride    Friday, November 17, 2006 11:47 AM


re: Pregnant Women Are Not Public Property!

I had so many rude and insensitive comments made to me while I was pregnant that I just wanted to scream...but instead I laughed at their stupidity.  I had people tell me I was eatting too much (I gained 60 lbs during my pregnancy) but I couldn't keep anything I ate down during my last trimester and still I was gaining weight.  However, if anyone looked at my feet and saw how swollen they were they would have understood I was retaining the Mississippi River in my body.  I have had people tell me and my mother I was too fat or I should have been carrying twins.  I did cry because my feelings were hurt badly, but I got over it once I lost 35 lbs in 14 days and I could prove it wasn't fat but WATER!  Now I still have twenty more to go, but I feel good.

Try not to let it bother you too much.  People can be insensitive clods.  You are beautiful no matter what and are doing an amazing thing.  Eat what you want and enjoy your pregnancy.  I did and my baby is normal, healthy, and beautiful...just mischevious!  ;)

Posted by mrscal    Friday, November 17, 2006 11:31 AM


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