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Wednesday, November 22, 2006 9:14 AM

Baby on the Way?

by Kathleen

We're spending Thanksgiving with my family this year and I'm so excited. Don't get me wrong, last year (our first holiday season as newlyweds) was really nice at his parents' house. But it was small. And I have a HUGE family. So I'm really happy to hang with my 12 cousins and their 30 (yes 30!) kids. Here's the problem: As the youngest, only childless cousin in the clan, I know EVERYONE is going to be bugging us about when we're going to have kids. And to be honest, I don't know how to answer.

It's not like we haven't talked about it. We definitely want them, but can't really figure out when. Some days I'm like, "why not now?" or "what if we wait too long and can't get pregnant?" and others, I'm more on the "we're having so much fun, waiting 10 years isn't that big of a deal" wavelength.

Bottom line: I know you're never really ready for it (and I'm not in a baby rush), but I don't know what to tell my family. What do you think is the best answer so I won't have to face frustrating follow-up questions:

I don't know
Oh gosh, maybe never
We're in no rush
In a couple of years
When I'm 64

Is anyone else worried about the baby pressure? It seems to erupt around the holidays.

Posted by The Nest Editors

Comments

re: Baby on the Way?

My coworkers and our clients were actually the worst about pressuring us to tell when we'd decided to have kids. Now, I'm of the school of thought that the best way to make mother nature laugh is to tell her your plans, so we really have no idea when we'll try. I want to finish a M. Ed. and DH's work schedule is preparing to be completely insane, and we're planning on purchasing a house within the year (and we're 23-24 years old for crying out loud), so it will be a matter of at least 5-10 years before we go the baby route. Since I worked in a mall at the time, at first I'd simply point across the mall to Build-a-Bear and say "Never." When one particularly annoying client started asking I told her that I'd found out a couple years back that I could never have children, and even manufactured some tears. She was mortified, and I thought it served her right. Why is it that when people get married your uterus becomes some kind of public property billboard?!

Posted by Prairiedog729    Monday, November 27, 2006 1:07 PM


re: Baby on the Way?

DH and I got married in July, we just bought a house, are both in our 20's and are still in school (great equation for a baby, huh!) and people still assume that that's just what you do when you get married! <br><br> At least my parents and in-laws don't bug us, but OMG my grandmother has been playing a guilt trip since we got engaged that she won't be around to see her greatgrandchild if I wait until I'm done with school (I'm pre-med, so I have a ways to go). And I totally agree that people assume you are pregnant everytime you have an upset stomach or have to pee more than usual or use the word "craving!" <br><br>My grandmother kept telling me at Thanksgiving that I "am not getting any younger" (I'm only 23!) and "family is more important than career", yadda yadda yadda. Yes, I really want kids but we have to be able to support them first! :) Anywho, the point is that I'm glad we're not the only ones waiting. :)

Posted by MrsHarris7806    Sunday, November 26, 2006 11:51 PM


re: Baby on the Way?

I agree with MrsKsTwo! Tell them you're still working on the technique and enjoying it too much! That's priceless!

Posted by TazTaryn    Sunday, November 26, 2006 3:29 AM


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