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Monday, May 14, 2007 3:25 PM

How do you get to content?

By Paula

I talked to my parents last night, and they told me all about their Mother’s Day weekend. On Saturday, they had an early bird watching class, then took a walk to the farmer’s market, where they picked up some new flower bulbs and fresh ingredients for dinner. On the way home, they went into a decorating store to look at new rugs for the family room, then spent the afternoon working in the garden and reading on the porch. My mom cooked dinner, they ate together, my dad did the dishes, and then they watched some PBS show they’d Tivoed. On Sunday, my dad woke my mom up to breakfast in bed, and then they worked on the Times crossword, read the paper, picked up the phone when their three kids called, and called both their own mothers. In the afternoon, my dad watched the NBA playoffs while my mom went to her refresh and renew yoga class, and then they got dressed up and went downtown for Mother’s Day dinner at a new restaurant.

Now, five years ago, I would have found that weekend so boring I wouldn’t even consider recounting the entire thing. Where was their ambition and adventurousness? Why weren’t they off doing new exciting things, or finishing the work they’d brought home from the office to improve their career trajectory and make more money? Today, that weekend sounds like the most amazing two days I could imagine. Spending the whole day with someone you love! Relaxing! Doing things you enjoy! And here’s the kicker… they do the same thing every weekend! (Again, would’ve made me gag five years ago. Today… sounds like paradise.)

I’m not sure if this is a case of grass is always greener (my parents and their friends think I have the young exciting life right now), or if I’m just kind of changing. Maybe… growing up a little. What about you? Do you still dream of exciting adventures and amazing careers, or do you think in terms of serenity and comfort? Is abandoning one for the other an inevitable function of growing older, or does it simply depend on the person? Can you have both? And, how do you balance moving towards the dream “one day” life, and enjoying the now?

Posted by Paula K
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Comments

re: How do you get to content?

Sounds like bliss!! Such a relaxing weekend. I wish we had more weekends like it. I think Im moving toward finding that kind of weekend idyllic faster than DH though! We are one of the first out of our friends to get married and so the lure of the ideals of married life is constantly being juxtaposed with the lure of unmarried life and all its nights out and lack of bills!! I think you can have both but I think a more 'sedated' married life should take priority but a few crazy nights out with the girls for me or playing football for him does no harm at all!!

Posted by SoLuckyInLove    Monday, May 14, 2007 5:15 PM


re: How do you get to content?

In most regards I think I am a 65-year-old in a 26-year-old's body.  I am excited to work toward having my own business, but I crave family intimacy, slow weekends, and little moments that make life worth it.  I think what the USA needs is a major shift in priorities, but I have no idea how to fix "them" so I focus on fixing my own perspective.  I would crave a weekend like your folks' any day over a weekend stuffed with sports playoffs, SUV-driving, soccer-moming, keeping-up-with-the-joneses-ing, etc.  Everything is fine in moderation, but I'm working on being content wherever you're at in life.  It's hard but I think it can be done.

Posted by third_place    Monday, May 14, 2007 5:40 PM


re: How do you get to content?

I dream mostly of weekends like your parents have :) I got a good amount of partying done in high school which tapered off in college where I was very career gung-ho. I think responsibilities, both financial and those to other people, which pile on as time goes by start to take up a certain amount of mental space that replaces the space formerly occupied by adventure and career ambition. That's my theory, anyway.

And, like PP says, the US is very work-oriented (too much so in my opinion) so maybe that's why it almost feels "weird" to be 20 or 30 something and craving leisure time. Hopefully it can be the norm one day because I really think the overwork and fast pace is harmful to individuals, families and society as a whole.

Posted by mr+ms    Tuesday, May 15, 2007 6:43 AM


re: How do you get to content?

Yes, you can have both!  Your life is what you make it.  Sounds like maybe you've been running at a very fast pace for a while and need to take some time out?  Find time to do some of those things that make you content -- and if you don't know what they are, just try things until something works.

Posted by Knot Heather    Tuesday, May 15, 2007 1:13 PM


re: How do you get to content?

I don't think marriage = settling down, but too many people think of it that way.  Admittedly, we have started watching shows like Antiques Roadshow on PBS, and our single friends make fun of us, but we are still looking for exciting careers, and places to visit on weekends, though our relaxing at-home weekends are great.  Right now we have a good balance,  but I can see that changing, and that's OK too.

Posted by JulieReizner    Wednesday, May 16, 2007 10:27 AM


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