The Nest

re: Married Money - Who does the bills?

This is probably against what all nesties believe, but my husband and I keep our own bank accounts and don't combine our money, and we're very happy with it that way.  We met when I was 24 and he was 23, and we were already both living on our own and paying our own bills.  When we moved in together, we still weren't married, so we kept our money separate and just each give a certain amount towards bills each month.  Now that we're married, he takes care of the mortgage and his own personal bills like his cell phone and car payment, and I pay for everything else and for my own personal bills.  When we want something new like a couch or tv, whoever really wanted to buy it in the first place, or whoever has more money in their bank account, buys it.  It works so well and we don't want to mess with a good thing.  And the bonus is that if I get an hour long massage, he doesn't have to know how much it cost, and if he goes to the bar, I don't have to know how much he spent.  We NEVER fight about money.

As far as debt, we each are paying off cars, but both will be paid off next year.  I have about $3,000 in personal debt and he has about the same.  I have an obscene amount of school loan debt that I'll be paying off for as long as I live though.

Posted by edmo    Monday, June 25, 2007 12:38 PM

re: Married Money - Who does the bills?

We have a joint account for all regular bills and spending.  We both had separate apartments, cell phone accounts, bank accounts etc, and had been paying bills on our own for years, and decided that we have more accountability and honesty when we share what we are spending with each other. We make about the same amount, but there really is no even way to divide the bills, so we'd have to have a third account and put money in each month and that is just too much work.

With our current system, the only thing we argue about money-wise is where to go on vacation with the money we've saved up for it!  We don't have lots of cash to throw around, so we have a spending plan (like a budget, but more fun!)... this covers all regular expenses (cell phones, mortgage, car payments, insurance, other monthly bills etc) and irregular expenses (i.e. car repairs, renewing license plates, haircuts, vacation) and nearly everything has an "account" that it comes out of, so we know we'll have enough, and never worry about bounced checks or whether we can afford to buy new things.

Also, we both have money that is designated for each of us to spend on whatever we want, no questions asked. If I go out with friends, or go shopping for clothes, or find a great deal on a brand new (fill in the blank), I know I have X amount to spend each month, or save up for a big blowout. He has money each month for golfing, I have my gym membership.  We even have our savings (10%) and giving (10%) designated each month, so we don't even have to think about it or worry about it.

We got this system from a book called Debt-Proof Living by Mary Hunt and it has literally freed us from being slaves to our money and strengthened our marraige as we worked through it and agreed on how we should live, save, give and spend. We have a good amount of debt but most of it is student loans and one car loan which is being paid off in larger increments (more than the minimum),  so we are still able to put  a good amount of money into savings, which is so important. I would reccommend looking at her book, or checking out Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University... great tools to learn how to manage your money, and not let it run (or ruin) your life.

If you don't have time for a whole book or system, the thing they emphasize most is to pay off debt as quickly as possible and put some money into savings each month, until you have first a $1000 "oh-no" fund, then a second savings goal would be to save three months worth of your combined income (this takes time, obviously). The oh-no fund is for things like... What if you lose your job and it takes a few months to find a new one? What if the furnace breaks, or you need major repairs on your car? Our savings account is even making 4.5% interest in an ING Direct savings account until we need it!

Anyway, that is how we do it, and it works really well. Good luck!

Posted by Krjstin    Monday, June 25, 2007 2:13 PM

re: Married Money - Who does the bills?

We have a joint checking and savings account.  We don't have separate accounts since I make about 3 to 4 times as much as DH, so we put my paycheck into the checking account, and put his into savings.  We use the savings for property taxes, vacations, down payment for a car, etc., and just long term savings.  I also have money taken out of each paycheck and transferred to a separate joint savings account for longer term savings.  It took a while to get used to sharing my money since I'd been practing law for 7 years before marriage and was not used to sharing with anyone.

As for who pays the bills, it just depends.  When my DH is not working, or is working from home (he works freelance in the entertainment industry), he pays the bills.  When he's working on a movie or TV show, I pay the bills since he works so late.  

Posted by me&steve    Monday, June 25, 2007 2:54 PM

re: Married Money - Who does the bills?

My husband and I have a joint checking account.  Like others who have posted, I have read and studied Dave Ramsey's books-which encourages paying off debt, saving up an emergency fund of 1,000.00 and then saving 3-6 months living expenses.  We pay the bills, rent and tithe out of our checking account.  We set a certain amount each month aside for savings, traveling, roth ira, and life insurance.  The rest of our monthly expenses are done with the cash envelope system.  I take out a certain amount of cash per month and place it in our file holder.  I have a section for entertainment, gas, groceries, and Target money.  The money is placed in the envelope at the beginning of the month and is used for the entire month.  Once the money is gone, its gone and we don't replace it until next month.  Paying with cash makes us both aware of what we are spending our money on and if it is something we really want to spend our money on.  We never have to worry about if we will have enough money to pay our bills or tithe.  Any leftover money after bills, saving and spending is left in our checking account or put towards traveling.  If you have the discipline this system works well-you truly spend less and can have the opportunity to put money towards other things-like paying off debt.

We don't use credit cards except for big purchases and always pay the balance in full each month.  I was challenged to pay everything in cash for one month instead of putting it on my credit card.  I was told I would spend about 50% less.  Not believing what I had read, I tried it and it really did work.

If we have any cash leftover at the end of the month it goes into our travel fund.  Another thing we do is save ALL of our change.  We paid for all of our entertainment on our honeymoon with change we have saved.   Once we fill up our jar we cash it in and spend it on something fun.  I've saved over 1,000.00 in one year just by doing this.

Many banks offer money market accts.  The drawbacks are limited transactions per month and a smaller interest rate than other competitors.  However, we use this acccount for short-term savings and draw interest every month.  We like having a seperate long-term and short-term savings account.

Though this system takes a lot of discipline, it truly works.  I would encourage you to try it out, especially if you are trying to work on debt.

Posted by Triathletegirl    Monday, June 25, 2007 3:23 PM

re: Married Money - Who does the bills?

We have a joint checking and savings account.  Based on how much each person makes determines the percentage each person contributes to paying the mortgage.  The rest of our paycheck goes into our personal accounts that we had prior to marrying.  That way bills get paid and we don't have to ask each other for money/allowance to buy something "pretty."  We've also just hired a financial planner to help us organize our finances better to help us save for our retirement and other things like college funds.

Posted by dragon_chica    Monday, June 25, 2007 6:00 PM

re: Married Money - Who does the bills?

We have one checking and one savings account.  Each month $300 is automatically moved from our checking into our savings.  When we have an emergancy or want to go on vacation we use the money from our savings.  I try to keep $2,000 to $5,000 in there at all times.  I keep $2,000 in our checking account at all times too.  This is for smaller emergancies.  Like a flat tire.  

We take out $100 every week for petty cash.  We both get $50 to spend however we want.  This includes every thing from lunch money to movie money.  I pay for my gas each month with a credit card.  I like to see exactly how much I am driving.  My DH uses the check card for his gas.  

Any left over money each month stays in our checking account.  We both have a percentage of our paychecks go directly to our retirement.  We have two car notes, a student loan and our morgage.  We have about $5,000 on credit cards that we are paying off.  When I see that the extra money in the checking account is getting too high I send more off to the credit card.  We pay more than the minimum on all bills that have intreset.  

We use to fight about money on the monthly basis, but with this system we are very happy and never fight.  I pay all the bills ech Thursday.  I have a spreadsheet in Excel that is set up for the entire year.  I keep track of how much money gets spent on groceries, donations, and I can compare electricity bills each month.  This helps me prepare for the next year too.  

Posted by steen05    Monday, June 25, 2007 6:07 PM

re: Married Money - Who does the bills?

we do what you do, have a joint for all bills, I do the budget (though we discuss and review it together) and pay the bills, then we each have a certain amount that we put in our our accounts for fun money.  we also opened 2 ING accounts and I set up automatic withdrawls from our joint account to be put in there each pay day.  one is an emergency fund, one is our general household savings fund.  it works great, and since it's automatic, it's just part of the budget.  

Posted by Mrs.Ontario    Monday, June 25, 2007 7:03 PM

re: Married Money - Who does the bills?

This is where we really need help. We both have stable jobs, and the same monthly income. We discovered, however, that for the total cost of utilities, home owners' association dues, mortgage and homeowner's insurance, it was actually cheaper to buy a condo than to rent an apartment in our area - no joke! We pay $300 less per month this way than at our old rate in our apartment - and that was before they hiked rent!

But when we moved in to the condo we found that there were a LOT of very serious, undisclosed problems we had purchased and that the entire condo needed to be gutted and redone. We weren't doing the best with our debt before, but we had a plan for paying everything off and creating a savings. Now it's even worse because of all the unexpected home improvements that we've put on our credit cards and the mortgage and the new line of credit to have the floors (water damage) repaired. In addition, DH's car just broke and we had to buy a new one - he has a 45 min. commute to work.

So now we're struggling to see any kind of debt-free light through the forest of greenless trees, our credit scores are too low, and we're definitely not saving money every month. We're just able to keep our heads above water - and I'm not comfortable treading for so long without a solid foot hold.

Any suggestions?

Posted by KimGabriel    Tuesday, June 26, 2007 1:18 PM

re: Married Money - Who does the bills?

We each have our own savings and checking accounts, and we have joint savings and checking.

We know that we need X amount each month to cover our mortgage, groceries, and other joint expenses, so we each deposit half of that into the joint checking account. I usually pay the bills these days, because I now work from home, so I can work it in between other tasks.

We each pay our individual expenses from our separate accounts. When we need something for the house, or go on vacation, etc., we go halfsies.

We funnel as much as we can into retirement accounts, but we do have enough to live on for awhile, in case of unforseen circumstances.

As for debt, we pay off our credit cards every month. We have a mortgage, and I have a smallish ($220) car payment each month.

Writing it all down, it sounds kinda complicated! But this really works for us. We each have a lot of autonomy, but we are working toward common goals. I think it really helps that we have similar views on spending/saving.

Posted by joyfulnature    Tuesday, June 26, 2007 1:36 PM

re: Married Money - Who does the bills?

Hey KimGabriel -- check this page out.

http://thenest.com/articles/article_life.aspx?articleid=A61215151317

It is a list of all the money-related articles on The Nest and there's tons of tips and advice.

I think the first step is to really write down your income and expenses to see where the money is going -- and if you have extra, using that towards debt reduction.  Find other ways to cut back on the home-fixing spending -- put off what you can until you actually have the money to do it.

Good luck!

Posted by Knot Heather    Tuesday, June 26, 2007 3:58 PM

re: Married Money - Who does the bills?

I have read all of the comments regarding bills/money/debt/payments.  My husband is a loan officer and he does more than just getting people loans.  He really works to repair credit, establish long-term financial goals and then finds a loan that fits those goals.  He works nation-wide, is very knowledgeable and will tell you upfront the truth.  Many people will get a good faith estimate from their officer, go to the closing table and find that their "good deal" has gone sour.  Many loan officers fail to metion locking the rate causing the payments and fees to be a lot higher when it comes to closing.  Fortunately my husband does not do that.  If you're looking to refinance or purchase and need a rate or advice, please let me know.  Ann Heppding

Posted by Triathletegirl    Wednesday, June 27, 2007 1:19 PM