The Nest

The "Baby" Discussion

Posted Saturday, March 29, 2008 3:35 PM

So, we know we want to have kids. Someday. We've been married less than 2 years and are only 25 years old so.....needless to say there is still time. Of course, I'm more anxious than he is. He doesn't really like to talk about it and I like to tease him by talking about "Milkman Jr." all the time. He gets all flustered and I think it's hilarious.

Anyway, I brought it up again the other day. I didn't say anything like, "hey, I want kids and I want them right now," because I know we are not ready. It was more like daydreaming, wishing, hoping. That little place in the back of my head that thought well, if it happened right now, I wouldn't be real upset about. That kind of thing.

Here's how the conversation went down:

Me: Something random about having a baby

Him: Don't think I don't know what you are doing!

Me: What are you talking about?

Him: You do this all the time! You are frustrated with work and when you get frustrated with work you start talking about getting pregnant so you don't have to go anymore. 

Me: Stares blankly.

Well, hells bells, I think he may actually be right! Not that I think that being a mom would be "easier" by any means. The exact opposite is true, really. But I am frustrated with work. How many 60 hour weeks can one work with zero overtime, zero time off and zero thanks? And we have decided that when kids come into the picture, I will stay home with them because in our current financial situation it would be a money LOSING deal to both work and pay for childcare. My entire salary would go to nothing but daycare and gas to go to and from. That doesn't even make sense! Yeah, I don't make much money...sigh...

So maybe it is true. Work is burning me out. My house is a disaster, my family and friends are neglected, I hardly ever see my husband. I want to stay home with our baby because I feel like it would be much more fufilling. Contrary to what my current lifestyle projects, I am not a "career" person. A corner office and a fat paycheck is NOT what I'm working towards in my life. I'm biding my time...and I work like this because if I didn't I'd be seen as "lazy" and "not a team player," and is NOT what I'm all about.

My true calling is to be a wife and a mother. My family will ALWAYS come first. The working moms at my office are constantly reminded that "they CHOSE work." I'm sorry that little Jimmy has a soccer game but we're on a deadline here...remember that you chose work. I'm sorry, but I cannot live like that.

I don't see it as wanting to get out of going to work because I'm stressed out like DH says. I see it as anxiously awaiting my promotion. My promotion to what will make me truly content with my life. So what if the promotion does not involve a paycheck. Family before funds...that's what I always say!