Whether you stay or go, move past this or not is completely up to you. No one else. Stop looking for what to do from internet strangers. NO ONE at all can predict what they will do in such a situation UNTIL it happens to them. NO ONE.
Get off the nest and, if you need to discuss what you're feeling, do so with your H, your counselor or visit a site like survivinginfidelity dot com as many of those individuals are dealing with exactly what you are.
I will say it again...NO ONE can predict whether they stay or go, divorce or not until they are put into that situation. If you feel like crying...cry. Screaming...scream. Do what you have to do to first take care of you. Realize that you did not cause this and, any sort of reconciliation and recovery will take a long time. Again, it's up to you whether or not you want to move forward. Can it be done? OF COURSE it can. But, it's not an easy road, it has it's ups and downs and throughout it all, you'll likely want to throw the towel in. You need to fix you before anything else. Good Luck.
-someone who also "thought" it was a dealbreaker...but, after 12 years, I gave it a "GO" and am making it work...