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11-06-2009 at 7:49 PM
kenk500
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Porn in a marriage?

Before we were married, I told my DH that I did not approve of him  watching porn. That was about 3 years ago, every since then I have not witness him watching any porn.

Me on the other hand, am secretly obsess with porn, I watch porn online every weekend. I fantasized about being  one of those pornstar. I am afraid of  telling him because I don't want to weird him out. Are there any other women who watches as much as I do and ashamed about it? Should I tell him I love porn??? omg am i a sicko?


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11-06-2009 at 8:07 PM
DysonWife
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Huh? invite him to watch porn with you?

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11-06-2009 at 8:14 PM
ToBeMcIner...
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I've watched porn with DH before.  Just buy a movie and tell him you want to mix thing up. 


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11-06-2009 at 8:18 PM
officer's*...
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Sooo...why are you not ok with your husband watching it if you watch it yourself?

You shouldn't be ashamed of it.  Tell your husband you watch it and ask him if he wants to watch with you.

Also, here's a newsflash: your husband DOES watch porn.  He's just very good at hiding it.  I honestly don't know anyone who doesn't watch it.  But maybe I know a bunch of sickos...

 
11-06-2009 at 9:43 PM
littlebee
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omg, you're a total sicko Confused


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11-06-2009 at 11:45 PM
TCA944
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 Chances are your husband might want to watch the porn with you. I know my husband likes watching it together. Just talk to him about it, it might open up a whole new experience for you two.
11-07-2009 at 1:14 AM
jonesdougl...
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WOW...what a hypocrite!

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11-07-2009 at 3:05 AM
j&lo82907
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I wouldnt worry about DH thinking your a sicko!! Every man (whether you witness it or not) watches porn.. my hubby will swear that he doesn't and I try to keep the fact I do on ocassion from him.. but we catch eachother once in awhile... and thats normal... everyone does it!

Just tell him if you feel you want to.  He will probably be the most upset about the fact you made a big deal about him doing it when you were watching it the whole time!


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11-07-2009 at 4:46 AM
Mikes Swee...
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Invite DH to watch it with you.  Most guys would jump at that chance.

Just a question...why did you tell him not to watch porn? And why is it okay for you to watch it, but not him?


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11-07-2009 at 7:13 AM
NightAndDa...
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wow.... why the double standard? Did you enjoy porn as much when you told your DH not to watch it, or is this something new?

I agree with a PP; he's probably still watching porn, and he's gotten really good at hiding it from you. If you two do have a conversation about porn and he admits that he's still been watching it, i hope you don't get mad at him for "lying" about it. 



 
11-07-2009 at 8:04 AM
cashandric...
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DysonWife:
Huh? invite him to watch pron with you?

Yeah.


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11-07-2009 at 8:51 AM
magsugar13
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You dirty little whore.


 
11-07-2009 at 9:00 AM
Kaiene
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Truthfully that's hypocritical of you to watch it but tell him he can't.

You could suggest you watch some together and during tell him that you enjoy it and would like to continue in the future.


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11-07-2009 at 9:43 AM
LovelyMiss...
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j&lo82907:

I wouldnt worry about DH thinking your a sicko!! Every man (whether you witness it or not) watches porn.. my hubby will swear that he doesn't and I try to keep the fact I do on ocassion from him.. but we catch eachother once in awhile... and thats normal... everyone does it!

Just tell him if you feel you want to.  He will probably be the most upset about the fact you made a big deal about him doing it when you were watching it the whole time!

Um, then why lie about it to eachother? This is NOT normal. If you say you don't but you do, you are lying to your partner and potentially hurting them and your relationship. If it's not a big deal that you guys do 'catch' eachother why not just say, "Hey, we both watch porn. It's something we do for ourselves and masturbation, not as a couple, but that's OK."

It's not like you need to announce whenever you've masturbated or tell one another before hand/afterwards or quiz one another to find out when and to what. But at least be honest that you do it.

OP, if this isn't MUD, you need to come clean to your H about your lying and hypocrisy and apologize, and then work on your relationship. You sound like a control freak and pulling crap like this is NOT okay. The issue is not "omg is it wrong that I love porn", it's that you're fake and a liar to your own husband.



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11-07-2009 at 11:11 AM
Ms_Matched
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officer's*wife:

Sooo...why are you not ok with your husband watching it if you watch it yourself?

My thoughts exactly. Is it possible over the course of 3 years your views on porn have changed and you trust him and you are no longer not okay with him watching it? Or is it a controling/insecure thing, "Do as I say, not as I do?" 

If I recall you and your H also have trust/control issues with money too. You are in school have no job and he doesn't let you near the checkbook. Where is the trust in this marriage?

 
11-07-2009 at 1:02 PM
alovelylad...
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Okay seriously? Who doesn't tell their DH not to do something and then you end up doing it yourself. Ex.- you tell him not to pick his bugars, and yet you pick your own. My point is don't be so hard on her, we all have things that we originally didn't want to do, but then we end up doing. People change. Just be honest with him, and tell him you have had a change of heart. Personally I don't like to watch it, because I do not want him thinking about someone else while he is with me, and I dont want him lusting over another woman.

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11-07-2009 at 2:59 PM
Ms_Matched
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alovelylady:
Okay seriously? Who doesn't tell their DH not to do something and then you end up doing it yourself. Ex.- you tell him not to pick his bugars, and yet you pick your own.
I can't get past the part about you telling your H not to pick his nose. Do you always treat your H like a 2 year old?
 
11-07-2009 at 8:34 PM
TupeloChic...
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Although I think this is MUD (why would you tell him you disapprove and make him stop even though you like it?) but I will answer on the assumption that this isn't.

I doubt your admitting to your H that you like porn will weird him out. As a matter of fact he will probably be psyched that he can watch it again AND be able to act out some of the stuff with you.

I just posted about finding some decent porn. 




 
11-07-2009 at 11:36 PM
kenk500
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I am ashame to tell him that I enjoy watching bondage typed porn, DP, ganbang etc. I feel like my porn watching might be  a little more extreme than his large boob porn website he visited. I don't know why I told not watch it. I know that's hypocritical but I said it so nothing I can do about now. except confess to him. I am going to tell my conservative DH let's watch some bondage porn where women are tortured and pleasured at the same time. That's doesn't soudn that bad at all.

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11-08-2009 at 9:03 AM
s5m9j
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I don't disapprove of porn.... DH has some movies and I watch it online while he's at work....

I think you should get a movie and tell him you want to spice things up and watch it together, it will break the ice and let him know you enjoy it.


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11-08-2009 at 9:56 AM
Ms_Matched
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kenk500:
I am going to tell my conservative DH let's watch some bondage porn where women are tortured and pleasured at the same time. That's doesn't sound that bad at all.
It's called a fantasy and everyone has them. Some more extreme then others. Who knows, he may secretly like it too, or be like the conservative senator Carrie in SATC dated who's fantasy was to be peed on. He is your H and life partner, you should be able to discuss anything with him. Maybe this will help him break out of his conservative shell, bring you two closer and share his fantasies with you.

 
11-08-2009 at 1:45 PM
alovelylad...
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Ms_Matched:
alovelylady:
Okay seriously? Who doesn't tell their DH not to do something and then you end up doing it yourself. Ex.- you tell him not to pick his bugars, and yet you pick your own.
I can't get past the part about you telling your H not to pick his nose. Do you always treat your H like a 2 year old?
yes as a matter of fact I do, I wipe his butt for him too! The whole bugar thing was a quick example! My DH is a grown man, he doesnt need me to baby him.

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11-09-2009 at 8:59 AM
telatovich
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Keeping a secret like this from him isn't healthy for your relationship at all.  That's your first problem to overcome.









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11-10-2009 at 12:49 AM
jonesdougl...
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alovelylady:
Okay seriously? Who doesn't tell their DH not to do something and then you end up doing it yourself. Ex.- you tell him not to pick his bugars, and yet you pick your own. My point is don't be so hard on her, we all have things that we originally didn't want to do, but then we end up doing. People change. Just be honest with him, and tell him you have had a change of heart. Personally I don't like to watch it, because I do not want him thinking about someone else while he is with me, and I dont want him lusting over another woman.

Umm...NO

She tells her DH not to watch porn but then shes the one with the "secret" obsession. This  isnt normal, and if you think this is or you tell your DH not to do something and you do it yourself-your a hypocrite as well.


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11-14-2009 at 5:26 AM
maryfrans
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Yeah, double standards indeed.

I doubt he'll think you're a sicko! You're his wife now. And since you guys are married you should be able to trust him with these kinds of things. Open up is I guess all I can say. This is the guy you're gonna be with forever. If you're not yourself with him 24/7 who will you be?

Eh, I'm just saying. Just tell him about your porn-crazed fantasies and obsession. It's totally normal. Maybe it'll even intrigue him.




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