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11-07-2012 at 9:11 PM
MrsPiggyKe...
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Joined on 11-08-2012
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MrsPiggyKermit is not online. Last active: 06-06-2013, 11:51 AMNewbie

More of a vent than anything.

My husband and I married the day I turned 18. We didn't want kids then, but we were young. As we grew older, we both had no desire to be parents.. We worked hard to get where we were, and didn't feel like we needed to have kids. Fast forward a few years: we're now 35 and 36, he got a vasectomy and I got my tubes tied. Recently, his step-mother was at our house and found some discharge information about my procedure. She is livid! She keeps telling us we're "selfish" for not having children. She told us she cut us out of her will, and won't come for holidays because we made the "selfish" choice of not having babies. I realize she's overreacting, she's prone to do that (which is why we didn't feel the need to tell anyone. It was my decision to do it, and no one else needed to know.) When we made the choices to get the procedure done, we both agreed if the baby bug bites us, adoption is what we'd want even if we weren't spayed/neutered. No one else seems to have a problem with the decision, we both came from huge families that procreated like rabbits. I love my nieces and nephews, I just don't want one of my own.   
 
11-08-2012 at 8:07 AM
hesakeeper
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hesakeeper is not online. Last active: 06-15-2013, 9:22 AMBronze
I'm pissed she found the discharge information. Nosey ***. 

Anyway, maybe she needs a sit down talk - or a letter for her to read so she may be given time to think about it before reacting. 

I'm assuming you had the procedure recently? You could tell her that if you had children now, at 35, you could be high risk just due to your age and you don't want to go through that - or have a child go through that - and therefore, if you do decide to have children, adoption is the preferred method. 

It's not her business, and it's silly to cut you out of a will for that, but whatever. 
 
11-08-2012 at 3:02 PM
FINALLYtob...
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FINALLYtobeMrsM is not online. Last active: 11-15-2012, 4:35 PMNewbie

Hi I'm new to The Nest. I just wanted to let you know that am livid for you! The gross invasion of privacy was one thing, but to go as far as to say she's basically ignorning you for your decision is beyond my comprehension. Here is something that she hasn't considered: what unselfish reason is there to have a baby today? no such thing exists b/c in this modern age the only reason to have a baby in this crazy world is soley b/c you want one...I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, hopefully she comes to her senses soon!
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11-09-2012 at 7:40 AM
sessionswe...
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sessionswedding is not online. Last active: 05-26-2013, 1:07 PMBronze

Wouldn't the more selfish thing be to bring a child into this war-torn world and terrible economy via a high risk pregnancy to get back into someone's will?  UGH!  I am livid for you as well.  She way overstepped her bounds there, and I would be just as happy to never speak to her as long as she kept that attitude.

ETA:  I'm shocked that she was shocked.  I mean, you've been married for HALF YOUR LIFE and haven't had kids yet, what did she think, you were waiting for your 40s?  Take a hint, for crying out loud.


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11-16-2012 at 7:55 AM
WendyGR
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WendyGR is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 3:56 PMSilver
wow. Hopefully it will blow over. In the meantime, if she brings up the will thing and holidays, tell her that those are her decisions but you still love her, and love her no matter what her personal decisions are and that you are disappointed that she does not return the favor.
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11-19-2012 at 12:40 PM
dancingpha...
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dancingphalanges is not online. Last active: 06-13-2013, 3:52 PMNewbie
Wow, she's quite a peach.  The decision to have or not to have children is a personal choice between your DH and you and it's none of her business.  It always irritates me when people say you're "selfish" for not wanting children (or only just one, if any, like my DH and I).  Like a pp said, I think it's more selfish to bring children into the world than to not. She is definitely overreacting, especially with cutting you out of her will.  
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